Page 46 of Between Our Hearts

“Stop! You’re being ridiculous.” The shouted words were out of her mouth before she’d even considered them.

“I’m being ridiculous?” His nose almost brushed hers as his angry breath washed over her flushed face. “I’ve been nothing but patient and understanding with you, but I can’t even get common courtesy back. I’m just—” He stepped back as his eyes darted around, looking at anything but her. “I’m done.”

The finality of the word sliced through her. “Done?”

A muscle in his cheek twitched. “At least for tonight.”

He stepped toward the house, and this impulsive panic overtook her. Rushing in front of him, she shoved his chest with her flattened palms. Only with her wet socks, she ended up sliding back several inches.

“Don’t.” His word was a growled warning.

For the first time in their relationship, touching her husband hurt her hands. Pain barbed through every contact point, ratcheting up her arms with a seizing sensation. An agonized inhale drew into her mouth as she yanked them back for inspection. In the seconds spent confirming her fingers weren’t burnt or marred, her husband stormed into the house and slammed the door behind him.

?Chapter 24?

Agrating, mechanical dying sound followed the unintentionally forceful slam of Clark’s palm against his alarm. His quick glance revealed blacked out digital numbers of his now broken clock.

“Great. Just great.”

He’d barely slept last night, thinking about his disagreement with Sadie. No, not a disagreement. It was an actual fight—the first one they’d ever had. A small, almost silent part of him whispered,Good. If they were shouting at each other at a decibel level that should have woken Lottie, at least words were being exchanged. It was strange to prefer that to silence, but that’s what reverberated in his strained muscles this morning.

He shook his head before swinging his legs out of bed. Lottie was sleeping on her side on the monitor, her blanket balled at the bottom of the bed. His chest felt like a trigger clamp was ever tightening around it.

Since last night, he’d been playing a different mental game. The one where instead of telling himself everything was okay with Sadie being distant or physically absent, he’d told himself that he and Lottie would be okay after a separation. That it wouldn’t break his heart every time he saw Sadie and couldn’t hold her. That Lottie was young enough that having divorced parents wouldn’t seem unusual because it would be all she could remember.

His eyes snapped back to the monitor as its rainbow volume bar illuminated across the top—Lottie was stirring. It only took a handful of steps to be at her bedside, rubbing her messy auburn curls.

“Dada.” She smiled as her eyes opened.

“Hi, little love.” His voice cracked, and he cleared his throat. “Ready to play with Omar?”

His daughter’s little forehead wrinkled. “No! No stooler. Play with Mama.”

Normally, he’d give Lottie the spiel he usually did when Sadie was working. One that he’d believed before—Mama did want to be with them, and as soon as she could, she’d be there.

Now those words rang hollow.

“I’m sorry.” Defeat pushed down on his shoulders as he bowed over his daughter, pressing his forehead to hers. “I’m so sorry, Lottie.”

“No!” Her little hands pushed his face away before she scooted herself out of her toddler bed.

Clark watched as if disembodied while she left through the open door, lavender bunny under one arm, searching for his wife. The echoed sounds of little feet and “Mama!” ricocheted off the walls of their empty house until at last the sound of Lottie crying jolted him back into his weary bones.

He doubted that any amount of exercise or parenting or distraction would be able to dissipate the ache settling in his chest this morning, but at least his sobbing daughter gave himself something to do. He couldn’t soothe his own aguish, but he could try at least to comfort his child.

???

“Did you get cut off in traffic on the way here or something?”

“What?” Clark glanced up from his inverted push up.

Victor was struggling to complete a set on the ground next to the picnic table that held Clark’s feet. “You’re just going extra hard today.”

He grimaced. “Tough morning.”

Lottie hadn’t stopped crying, even when he’d bribed her with apple juice and pancakes. She’d sobbed the entire drive to the park and had been flailing in her five-point stroller restraints until Victor had rolled Omar next to her. Sometimes when Sadie had several days off and then returned to work, Lottie had a hard time adjusting to her mother’s sudden absence, but this was the worst he’d ever seen. Even now, she was hiccuping, sucking the first two fingers on her left hand with moist eyes.

“I’ve got gummy snacks. Do you want me to give her a pack?”

---