Page 19 of Between Our Hearts

“We can watch a movie or something.”

She nodded before heading up the stairs to their bedroom. Sadie took her time in their en suite bathroom brushing her hair out of its ponytail, listening for Aurelia’s exit. She slipped out of her work clothes, her eyes lingering on her softened belly. When she grazed her skin, pain rocketed from the pads of her fingers up her forearms. A sharp breath filled her lungs, and she focused while exhaling it evenly. Pulling her shoulders into their locked position, she slipped one of her old silk nightshirts over her underwear.

“What movie do you want to wa—” Clark’s question died on his tongue.

“Hey,” she was going for sexy, but her voice game out slightly strained.

Her husband’s lips pressed into a firm line. “You’re going to be a little cold watching a movie in that. I turned the AC on today.”

She attempted an alluring shrug. “Or we can stay up here.”

Clark pinched the bridge of his nose before rubbing his hand over his face. His breath was as audible as it was long. “No, Sadie.”

“No?” Though technically everything was covered, she suddenly felt embarrassingly naked.

His expression was softer when he lifted his face. “Let’s have some cereal and watch one of those obstacle reality shows you love while we snuggle on the couch.”

That offer sounded like heaven, better than reconstructing a comminuted pelvis—her favorite surgery. It sounded like something the old Clark and Sadie would have done before falling asleep in each other’s arms. But the fact that she could probably conceive again weighed too heavily on her mind.

She let her left shoulder droop, knowing the thin strap would fall off with that action. Clark’s eyes snagged at the bare open space no longer covered by lavender-dyed silk and followed the line down to her breasts. He blinked twice before turning to leave the bathroom, tossing his words over his shoulder.

“I bought more Cap’n Crunch today.”

“Wait,” she lunged forward, grabbing his wrist. That electric pulse that sometimes accompanied touching Clark surged up her arm. “Don’t you want. . . .” She let the question drop off.

A hoarse exhale preceded his hands framing her face, ensuring her gaze was fixed on his. “I do. More than you can imagine.” He swallowed hard, loosening his grip a bit. “But I think what would be best for us right now would be cereal and watching unnecessarily fit people doing crazy stunts.”

She opened her mouth to protest.

“Maybe one of them will accidentally make a mistake and break something in a gruesome way, and you can tell me how you’d fix it.” His voice was attempting to be light, but there was no humor in his eyes as they darted between hers.

“But—”

He let go of her face, stepping back and slamming an open hand against the wall. “Damn it, Sadie. I’m not a sperm factory.”

Sadie jumped at the sound of his palm slapping the plaster. He’d never done anything like that before.

“I—” She shook her head rapidly. “I never said—”

“You don’t have to.” His hand fisted the air at his side. “That’s all you want me for. Do you know how long it’s been since you’ve initiated touch with me?Seven days.” The last words were growled through closed teeth.

“It’s been seven days since I leaned in for a goodbye kiss and got a peck in return. But tonight, you’re wearing that and reaching out for me, and I know it’s not because you wantme.” The anger in his eyes washed away, leaving breath-halting sadness in its wake. “Because I’ve been here all week. I’malwaysright here.”

Her stomach squeezed and twisted in an excruciating way. “Clark, I—”

He held up a hand and backed away. “I can’t. I just—I’m going for a drive.”

Slippery silk met her fingertips before she realized she was hugging herself. The sound of each of Clark’s footfalls as they marched away from her was agony, the jingle of his truck keys a punch in the face. The finality of the garage door closing set off a silence within their large house that Sadie immediately wanted to cover with something. Impulsively, she flicked on the tap. Liquid flowed down the sink in blatant disregard for water conservation as she tried to catch her breath.

It was over. It had to be over.

She’d never seen him like that. He’dneverwalked out on her before.

The truth sat heavy at the base of her spine.

Her time with him was up.

Sadie knew she should be grateful that she’d had nearly four years with Clark, but pervasive achiness was the only thing that registered. More numbly than before, she moved through her bedtime routine and changed into her usual cotton tank and shorts pajama set. Though she turned off the light and pretended to be asleep, it wasn’t until hours later when the garage opened that some of the tightness in her quads loosened.

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