Page 60 of Between Our Hearts

She swallowed with a nod. “I’ll try.”

This burning tension seized his lungs, and he had to settle his gaze over the water and focus on the simple act of breathing for a few minutes. The gentle sensation of softening rain nurtured his aching back muscles.

With a sigh, he wiped the remaining rainfall off his face. “All right.”

Sadie’s gaze was already focused on him when he turned to her, though she remained silent.

When he understood that she was waiting on him to tell her what their next step should be, that she was allowing him to take the lead in this, her consideration sent warmth surging through his veins. “I think the best thing now would be to go home.”

“Are you sure?” The uncertainty in her eyes made his heart squeeze.

Instinctually, his hand raised to frame his wife’s lovely face. “Yes, love. Let’s go home.”

?Chapter 31?

Sadie picked at the seam of her scrubs as Clark finished telling Dr. Shah—or Tara, as she insisted they call her—a rough overview of the last year of their lives. It had been easiest to allow him to answer all the general questions, knowing that soon Tara would ask her direct ones. Though the office’s neutral cream and grey tones had likely been chosen for their soothing effect, even the artistically painted jade lilypad she’d been staring at didn’t quell the anxiety bounding through Sadie’s veins.

“Okay,” their new therapist said. “We obviously can’t tackle a year’s worth of topics in a single session. My understanding is that you two are on the same page regarding wanting to try to work this out. Is that correct?”

The emphatic way Clark said “yes” lit Sadie from the inside out.

“Yes,” she said, eyes darting and snagging on his.

“Great.” Tara folded her hands in her lap. “Then what I’d like to do is ask you both to imagine your preferred outcome of these sessions. Keep in mind that whatever you say today can morph and change over time. Your answer isn’t going to be written in stone. It’s just a jumping off point. Sadie, what would you like to come of our time together?”

She’d been anticipating something more challenging, but this was the easiest thing Tara could have asked her. “I want to be with Clark.”

Tara slightly tilted her chin. “Could you qualify that for me? What does that look like to you?”

Sadie sat up with an inhale. “I want our relationship to be as strong as it was after Lottie was born.” Her gaze gravitated toward her husband’s again. “But I also want things to be different. I want to be more considerate of Clark’s needs. I want to make sure that he knows how much I love him. How much he matters to me. I want him to be happy. Before all this happened, I was so happy, but I’m not sure he was.”

“Clark, do you want to respond to that?”

His brilliant blue eyes never wavered from hers. “I was happy, love. Up until you started closing yourself off, our life had been perfect. At times, I was unsure it was real.”

The corner of her mouth pulled up. “Sometimes, I thought we lived in an alternate dimension.”

“Really?” The question was more of a surprised breath.

She slid her hand off her scrub pants onto the microfiber loveseat between them—an invitation but not a command. “Yeah.”

Clark didn’t hesitate to interlace his long fingers with hers, and Sadie reveled in the familiar scrape of his hardened palm.

Tara let the moment expand before directing their conversation again. “And Clark, what would you like from our time together?”

Her husband’s hand stiffened as he looked away. “I . . .” He swallowed hard and his collarbones tightened.

“Clark?” She worried that his idea of the future didn’t match hers.

His eyes slowly rose to hers. “I don’t want to have any more children.”

She blinked as her eyebrows twitched, drawing her hand back. “But having two kids was always your vision for our family.”

“We can’t be a family if we aren’t together, and trying to give Lottie a sibling is costing us our relationship. I’m not willing to make that sacrifice anymore. It’s causing too much harm.” His face slackened. “It’s hurting us both too much.”

“But—”

“Sadie, can you acknowledge that even though you and Clark had one plan for your future, he might want to change that plan?” Tara asked.