Page 49 of Between Our Hearts

“I don’t need your sass,” Penelope snapped. “It’s not like you ever did anything right. Anything like you’re supposed to. I don’t even know why I called you. I should’ve called your brother. Alden’ll fix this.” The phone cut out.

Sadie didn’t look up as the phone fell to her side but could feel Clark’s unrelenting gaze on her face. Her husband had been understanding, if not encouraging, a few months ago when her mother had asked for a little bit of money to buy a new car.

Her family had always been comfortably middle class, but since Penelope had envisioned herself worthy of finer things even though she’d never worked a day in her life, her mother had quickly blown through Daddy’s pension. Thanks to Penelope’s excessive spending, her adult children were now bailing her out of financial ruin. Embarrassed, Sadie had left that detail out of the initial conversation with Clark. All he’d been aware of was that her widowed mother needed help.

“I can’t believe her.”

Sadie could feel his anger zap across the humid air molecules between them.

A noisy exhale left her lungs in response.

“I don’t like when she talks to you like that.” The protectiveness in her husband’s words drew her gaze.

“She’s blood,” she said finally, her body suddenly feeling too heavy for her legs to carry.

Clark’s free hand cradled her neck, bringing her forehead to his. “You’re too good a person sometimes.” His lips kissed her brow before releasing her.

She shrugged, layering on the armor she usually wore. “Being her daughter has had its advantages. I never flinched when my professors, attendings, or fellow surgeons tried to bully me out of my field over the years. And it wasn’t like they didn’t try. I witnessed more than one mental breakdown by a fellow medical student or colleague. But compared to my mother, their attacks always seemed like a drop in the bucket.”

Her husband’s smile was sad. “That’s not an advantage from her, love. That’s you being incredibly resilient.” Clark gathered her free hand in his, interlacing their fingers. “You’re one of the strongest people I know.”

She tried to hinder her blush, but the flicker in her husband’s eye told her he’d caught it.

A whispered, “God, I love you,” flushed over the tender inside of her wrist before his hot lips brushed the skin.

Like the many times before when Clark had stunned her with his words, she didn’t have a response. She wanted to wrap herself around him, to somehow be able to touch every part of him at once. Her squeezing his fingers seemed like a paltry substitute, but her husband didn’t seem to mind.

A grin laced his face. “Do you want to get pancakes with us? We—”

“Pa-cakes!” Lottie interrupted with raised hands.

Her husband’s surprised laugh at Lottie’s interjection warmed and stirred something low in her belly.

“We didn’t eat breakfast.” He cleared his throat, his face sobering. “It was a rough morning.” His expressive eyes told her he’d been struggling after their argument as much as she’d been.

She stepped closer, never relinquishing the stranglehold she had on Clark’s hand. “It was really hard on me too.”

Those words only held a tiny percentage of the agony Sadie had felt during the hours she’d spent in the guest room staring at the mahogany-bladed ceiling fan turning a lazy circle. By morning, she’d understood that if she didn’t meet Clark where he stood, on his terms, she’d lose him forever.

Her collarbones itched with the knowledge that she’d only taken the smallest step toward letting him in—that she hadn’t been brave enough to bare her whole soul to him. Maybe she could get there over time, but right now all her body craved was Clark’s strength. Lottie’s leg kept her from pressing her body to his, so she rubbed her daughter’s back instead, closing the circle of the three of them like a circuit. Lottie flopped her head onto Clark’s shoulder, sucking her fingers.

“Thank you for finding us”—his eyes flicked to the gerbera daisy plants—“and thank you for showing me this. For explaining why you’ve been distant, and why you’ve been gone so much. But I want you to know you’re not alone. I’m right here with you. I—” His chest rose with a shaky inhale. “I’m having a really hard time too. Every time I stumble upon a baby toy in the playroom or see the newborns with their dads at class, I hurt too. I understand you wanted to deal with it alone, but maybe now we can work on it together?” Sorrow etched into the slight creases at the corners of his eyes.

The oppressive need to ease her husband’s obvious suffering overthrew the twitchiness splintering throughout her muscles at the idea of opening herself up fully. “Yes.”

Clark’s eyes rounded slightly, but his voice was cautious. “And we can talk to someone about it? I really think we need help with this.”

She swallowed over the saliva trying to drown her and nodded. “I might not do it right, but I’ll try.”

Maybe with time and the help of a professional, she could microdose her sorrow into the world. Maybe eventually, it wouldn’t feel like each time she opened her mouth, her bones were crumbling.

The corner of his lips pulled up before he brought her knuckles to them. “Right now, that’s all I need.”

A wet popping sound accompanied Lottie tugging her fingers free. “Eat, eat. Dada say pa-cakes.”

Clark dropped a kiss on their daughter’s cheek. “I did say that.”

Sadie tilted her head, quickly and gratefully shifting gears. “Oh. Let’s go to that little diner on Main Street that puts Fruity Pebbles in the batter.”

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