Her steely voice came out cold, even to her ears. “Is there a patient you need to discuss with me, Dr. Abernan?”
The short, painful exhale that blew over her neck hit herhard. Her fingertips gripped the edge of the counter to lock her body into place as her eyes pressed closed again.
I’m sorry, Colin.
“No.”
He hovered behind her, and she felt every tormenting beat of her heart in her ears.
“I’m sorry about Bo.” It felt like he was going to touch her, that he would lay his hand on her shoulder, but he didn’t.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
She felt his warm breath flow against her skin before the space behind her emptied. Her hand slid over her back, half expecting it to be naked. A tear ran down the outside of her cheek, and she quickly whisked it away. The call bell pinned too loudly as the laughs of the patient care aides joking from the nurse’s station pushed into her consciousness.
How could anyone be laughing right now?
?Chapter 34?
Listening to the loud drops of water on the umbrella above him, Colin watched as the water fell around his black oxfords. It made sense to him that it would rain today.
It seemed right.
Appropriate.
After he’d discharged Bo home with his family two weeks ago, he’d made himself available if Shannon needed him, even for a house call. As days lingered on, gratitude bloomed that Bo had that time with his family before they found him lying peacefully in his bed a few mornings ago. He’d needed that time to say goodbye to his mother so many years ago and was glad Bo’s family had those extra days with him.
A sea of umbrellas surrounded the two and a half by eight-foot hole in the muddy earth. At the service, he’d never seen a church packed so tightly. Bo had meant so much to the community, and it was fitting that everyone was here to say goodbye.
The priest could barely be heard over the pounding water, but eventually everyone shuffled from their positions in the grass to their cars as Bo’s body was lowered into the ground next to Mary’s. This was always the hardest part for him, the part when it became real by returning the body to the earth. It was when Colin spread his parents’ ashes in the sea that he understood they were truly gone.
Through the ocean of black dresses, black suits, black shoes, and black umbrellas, he knew Emilie was here somewhere. He knew she was huddling under a flimsy plastic canopy, weeping much softer than the sky did above them.
The past three weeks had been more agonizing than losing either of his parents because Emilie hadchosento leave him.
A halting inhale pulled against the numbing ache that sat between his right ribs and his sternum. Part of him felt like his bones would never heal, that it was his penance for scaring the love of his life away. Running his free hand through his hair, he walked away from the gravesite, the wet ground squishing under each step.
A lot of the people were already driving away, heading to the wake at the diner. Looking back over the cemetery, he saw Emilie huddled under a large tree abloom with fresh spring leaves. His breath caught in his throat as she pushed her hands against her cheeks and her umbrella tumbled to the ground.
Everything was too intense, like a photo’s saturation had been pushed to the limit. The bright green of the new leaves almost matched the neon grass. The deep teal of the umbrella somehow perfectly encapsulated Emilie’s essence: laughter, strength, beauty, and sadness.
He had to fight the immediate urge to run towards her and pull her into his arms. Seeing her at work a couple times a week had been hard, but he firmly kept his mind on his job, and minimized his time on the floor. The sight of her standing under a tree wearing the same dark hose and black heels that she’d had on before he’d been inside her the first time was tortuous.
“Hey, Dr. Abernan.” A familiar voice stepped up behind him.
He turned to see Ash standing eye to eye with him in her black dress and heeled boots. “Hey, Ash.”
“I just wanted to say that I’m sorry.” Her eyes flitted over his shoulder and then back.
He cleared his throat. “Bo will be missed.”
She opened her mouth as if to say more, but no words came out. Instead, her lips pressed into a slight frown as she squeezed the sleeve of his suit jacket, her arm getting splashed by rain as it slipped between their umbrellas.
“Thanks.” His word came as an exhaled whisper.
Ash walked away towards the road, and his body turned on its own to the tree, which now stood by itself, its leaves shaking with the force of each accelerated water droplet. He blinked against the hollowness in his chest and started towards his car.
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