Page 78 of My Heart Before You

“I’m sorry, Colin.”

His resigned exhale was wisped away with the breeze riding off the river.

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After a very long walk and a stop by a small market in Beacon Hill, they arrived at her condo. Colin revealed his limited abilities in the kitchen and was given the task of chopping vegetables for their salad. Sizzling and the smell of browning beef and onions filled the room.

He stopped chopping from his assigned station at the kitchen island to watch her body as she worked over the range. The late daylight streamed in through the large bay window and bathed everything it touched in a warm golden glow. She was adding tomato sauce to the cast iron pot when he crossed to her, swept the hair from her shoulder, and kissed the side of her neck. As he knew she would, she hummed and melted into his kiss.

“How do you know that’s my favorite?” Her voice was breathy.

He gave the answer that burned in his chest. “I just know.”

Emilie leaned back into him, and he wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her as she continued adding ingredients to finish the sauce. Once the lasagna was assembled and in the oven and the salad cooling in the refrigerator, she poured them each a glass from a bottle of wine and led them to the loveseat.

They sat facing each other—the light from the window encircling Emilie’s head. It reminded Colin of the first time he’d been in her condo after she was nearly mugged in the Commons. He’d never experienced anything like his vision slowly returning and seeing her concerned eyes searching his.

He set his wineglass on the ground and gathered her free hand in both of his. “Emilie.” He took his gaze from her hand to her eyes. “Did you mean what you said last night? About us being honest with each other?”

Setting her glass on the ground as well, she wove her second hand in his. “Yes. I think it’s important. I think I hurt you by not telling you the truth sooner, and then we didn’t talk for days.”

He winced internally at the memory of trying to shut her out of his heart and the pain he caused her. “That wasn’t your fault,” he countered quickly. “It was mine.”

“Still, I should have been up front with you.” Her words only strengthened his resolve that he was going in the right direction.

“I need to talk to you about something and I need you to understand that I don’t expect anything from you. I know it would be asking too much.” His pulse thrummed at his words, knowing more than anything he did want her to feel the way he did.

“What is it?”

A suppressed smile teased at his lips as he looked into her focused brown eyes and saw the slight crease of bewilderment between her chestnut eyebrows.

“I love you, Emilie.”

Her lips parted in an audible gasp.

Rolling his thumb over her wrist, he continued, “I’ve loved you for some time actually, but I was afraid if I said anything, I would scare you. I didn’t want to do anything that would make you push away. I don’t expect you to feel the same way or say anything in return, but I had to tell you.”

He knew it was unfair of him, but his eyes searched her face.

“I . . .” she began and then the words were caught in her open mouth.

A tentative hand moved to her cheek, and she didn’t shy away. “I just needed you to know.”

He leaned into her and kissed her with all the love he felt for her. It was enough for him to love her and to let her know, if that was all he could have. When she kissed him with the same intensity he gave, hope soared in his chest, but fell as soon as he gazed into her eyes after their lips separated.

“I can’t . . .” She struggled.

His insides felt as if they were being slowly and painfully shredded, but he gathered her into his arms. “It’s okay. Do you want me to leave?”

She shook her head against him, and he took comfort in that action. Then she nestled into his arms the way they fit so perfectly together, and placed her hand hesitantly over his heart. Colin tried not to let his breath catch at her touch, controlling his breathing was so hard right now with everything he’d said.

Smoothing out her hand, she pushed her palm fully to his heartbeat. “Please stay.”

Certain she could feel the jackhammer of his muscle beating beneath her hand, he made her a promise, pulling her closer and silently breathing it into her hair.

Always.

?Chapter 29?

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