Page 74 of My Heart Before You

Emilie woke to the strong, rhythmic beating of Colin’s heart under her ear. Consciousness returned to her in varying degrees as she registered the warmth of his naked body beside her. Carefully tilting her gaze up a fraction, she saw that he was still sleeping peacefully. A contented exhale left her as she let herself melt into the crook of his arm, listening to the rise and fall of each breath.

Memories of last night filled her mind. Slowly removing each other’s clothing while tenderly kissing. The exploratory but gentle way his hands had roamed her whole body followed by his warm kisses. How his lips had affectionately grazed her c-section scar before returning to hers in the most accepting way. He seemed to know her on a level even she couldn’t communicate; it was as if their bodies just understood each other.

It felt like a surprise, but if she took the time to converse with her heart, she knew deep down that being with Colin would have been just like it was. Last night was not the quick-paced acceleration like when they kissed. There was an unspoken comprehension that this time should be reverent and meaningful. It seemed fitting that they fell asleep in each other’s arms afterwards, not bothering to move or dress or break the connection they’d just built.

Her fingertips sifted through the curly chest hair under her hand, memorizing the feel of his skin with each delicate touch. After a few seconds, a muscled arm wrapped around her body, settling into the dip of her hip with the most magnificent weight.

“Good morning.” His voice rumbled deep in his chest.

She lifted her head to see his beautiful eyes, and her lips pulled up on their own. “Good morning, Colin.”

His eyes lit up at her smile before they rolled closed in an unguarded expression of bliss as she said his name. When they blinked open, his gaze focused on hers with gentle concern. “How are you feeling? Are you okay?”

I haven’t been this okay in a very, very long time.

“I’m good. How are you?”

A chuckle bounced her head a bit as he laughed her name. “Emilie.”

She pushed up against her elbow. “What?”

Pulling with his powerful arms, he plucked her right off the bed and settled her on top of him. “You have no idea how long I have been wanting that. How long I’ve been wantingyou.”

His words seared into her body, but the intense hunger of his gaze as it dropped to her lips and then to her breasts put her over the edge. She bent at the waist, pushing her body firmly to his as her fingers twisted through his hair. Now Emilie wanted the frantic, heated version of what they’d done the night before.

???

She hadn’t moved from on top of him, just collapsed, her forehead in the crook of his neck. Colin lazily wove his hands down her back, brushing her hair with his fingers. She didn’t want to move, but her stomach rumbled loudly between them.

“We should probably eat something,” she said as an answer to it. The rest of her body had been so thoroughly satisfied, it was almost as if her digestive system was pouting at the inattention.

He exhaled into the top of her head. “Probably.”

Emilie lifted her face to gaze at his handsome features. His hair was mussed from her fingers, his jaw relaxed but strong, and his color slightly flushed from exertion and euphoria.

“Is there even anything here to eat?” A teasing grin laced her lips.

“I keep milk and cereal stocked along with microwave dinners.”

“Good.” She laid a kiss on his smiling mouth before rolling off of him.

“I’ll make coffee.” After momentarily disposing of the condom in the small trash can under the nightstand, he pulled on the pajama pants from the chair by the window. Gratitude flushed through her when he didn’t put a shirt on. “If you don’t want to put your dress back on you can find something of mine to wear in the closet.”

Emilie entered the bathroom and freshened up a bit before stepping into the adjoining closet. Relishing the idea of picking something of his to wear, she took her time looking over all the different options: scrub tops, dress shirts, t-shirts, sweaters. All would fit like a tunic and cover her underwear that she’d put back on.

When she found the blue and grey flannel he’d been wearing when he asked her out—when they’d first kissed—she reached for it. She was snuggling into the soft shirt, buttoning it up over her bare chest, when she spotted a wooden box with a beautifully inlaid top. Her fingers grazed the smooth surface, and she found her hands opening the lid.

The sweet woody scent of cedar lifted to her nose as she gazed at the dozen or so white letter envelopes. The one on the top was face down, the V of the seal looking back at her, but beneath it on another envelope to the left she read in a feminine cursive “When your. . .” the rest was hidden under the top envelope. From the other side, tidy block letters of another hand read “. . .miss me.” She was contemplating picking up the top envelope when she felt Colin’s heat behind her.

Quickly closing the lid, she spun into his chest. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to snoop.”

His eyes swept her body before resting on hers. “It’s okay.”

Suddenly, it occurred to her that she knew nothing of his past relationships. It was unmistakably a woman’s hand scrawled on at least one of the envelopes, if not all of them. Something nagged at her. She had no right to be jealous, but it bloomed in her chest nonetheless.

“Are those from a woman?”

The left side of his mouth pulled up in a satisfied tug, understanding the implication behind her words, before it promptly fell. Her ribs tightened at the downward turn of his lips as he let out a controlled breath.

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