Page 84 of My Heart Before You

Sitting up, she pushed at the wetness on her face. “How’d you know?”

Her twin blew out a breath. “Don’t be mad.” Tucking a loose strand from her tiny chignon behind her ear, she said, “It’s not really my fault. You’ve had the same password since college, which isn’t very cyber secure.”

“What are you talking about?”

Analie’s fingers delicately wiped away a straggling tear. “You know I worry, right? It’s out of love, but Imightcheck your email every once in a while.”

Her mouth fell open, unable to respond.

“I know. I know.” She spread her hands. “But Em, you almost died once. I worry, and sometimes checking up on you makes me feel better; less helpless, less out of control.”

An exhale left her lungs as she laid her head back on her sister’s shoulder. She understood completely how Analie felt and couldn’t hold it against her.

“I saw the airline tickets and called Mom, and when she didn’t immediately say you were home, I knew you were here.” Analie laced her fingers through hers. “What happened?”

For a few breaths, the sounds of traffic from the nearby busy street and the wind whipping through the trees was all that could be heard.

“I love Colin.”

Saying the words out loud to Analie sent an odd sensation sprinting through her veins. Her brain spun for a few hurried seconds before she understood that it was remorse.

She wanted Colin to have been the first one to hear those words. She wanted to see his eyes smile before she felt his breath on her lips and his body surrounding hers.

She wanted to but she couldn’t.

“Okay.” Her sister’s voice slightly extended the word, like she was waiting for more information. Seconds passed before she said, “Help me see why that is bad.”

Her breath caught in her throat. “It just is.”

She could almost feel her sister’s brows pinching. “Does he know you love him?”

“No. I broke it off this morning.”

“Why?”

“Because. . .” Emilie lifted her head to stare into matching eyes. “I can’t behereagain. I can’t do it. Like you said, I barely made it through the first time. I won’t make it through again.”

Analie’s pragmatic irises stared back at her. “The chances of that happening again are incredibly slim.”

“The chances of my husband and child dying in a car crash were incredibly slim thefirst time.” She heard the snap in her voice.

Her twin’s hand rubbed Emilie’s shoulder before pulling her into a hug. “You’re right.”

An inappropriate laugh tumbled free of her mouth. With every emotion in her body fighting with each other, she’d start crying again if she didn’t laugh. “You never admit when I’m right.”

“I do too,” her twin quipped.

“Sure. Believe whatever fantasy you want to believe.” Part of this seemed easier. She was just bickering with her sister, not completely dismantling what was left of her heart.

“I admit when you’re right. It’s just that it happens soinfrequently, you probably don’t remember.”

She pushed a jabbing finger into her sister's ribs.

“Hey! Don’t poke at me. I’m the one missing my last class to console you.”

She sobered. “I’m sorry, An. I didn’t mean for you to be here.”

Her sister waved her hand. “I sent out my slides electronically, so at least the good students will review them. Don’t worry about it. Emergencies happen.”

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