Page 88 of Soul of a Psycho

If I had known what I was encouraging between the two of them, I’m not sure I would do it again. They have become inseparable, kissing at every opportunity and giving PDA a new meaning. I wouldn’t be surprised if they were each other’s first kiss and are making up for lost time. I’m not as offended by it as Ruby is, though. It’s all very tame, just a series of pecks over and again, goo goo eyes, and hand holding. If I’m being honest, it’s actually kind of amusing. Bobby turns red after every kiss, never seeming to get used to his new reality.

“Leave them alone.” Lana scoops up a piece of ice and chucks it at Ruby. “You would be the exact same if you had a boyfriend.”

“I would not!” Ruby fishes for more ice.

Soon enough, ice is flying everywhere. It goes down my shirt, melting at the under wire of my bra, and Bobby sputters after a piece lands in his mouth. My hands are freezing as I scoop and strain little crystals, flinging them at Callie and Lana. Somehow it’s become me and Ruby against them. Bobby tries to shield Callie, thoughtfully choosing not to hurl ice at girls, but he’s smiling all the same.

We’re sopping wet and shivering within minutes, running towards Lamb Hall for the fireplace in the common room. Britney sneers at us, and Ruby shakes out her hair like a dog, misting her.

“You fucking bitch,” Britney shrieks.

“Oh no, the wicked witch is melting.” Ruby gives a faux pout before huddling us towards the stone behemoth where hot logs crackle.

“Ughhh!” Britney pushes off the sofa and stomps up the stairs.

We all cackle as we warm our hands, and my heart swells. I never had this much fun with my old friends. The only thing missing is Cade. My smile falls. This could have been the exact type of thing he needed.

It doesn’t take us long to dry off, and I swirl my hair into a low bun as I inch towards the doors.

“Where are you going?” Callie playfully smiles, like she knows exactly where I’m going.

I bite my lip and give a shrug, giddy at the idea of surprising Cade.

“Don’t get lost, Barbie,” Ruby flops onto the sofa. “If you aren’t back by lights out, I’m sending a cavalry.”

I roll my eyes and slip out into the setting sun.

Chapter Fifty-Seven

Cade

The trips to town have become more and more frequent. I have to order supplies in very small quantities and space them out so it doesn’t look like I’m trying to build explosives. Granted, someone would have to be intelligent enough to know what kind of reagents could create volatile concoctions, and I’m also using unassuming ones, but I can’t be too safe.

The easiest route would be to just order what I need, but instead, I’m ordering three separate solvents just to create one thing, doing it for multiple additives, so as to not get myself flagged. It’s tedious, but it’s safe. Even though there is no such thing when dealing with combustive materials. I nearly singed off my eyebrows testing to make sure I had the right ratios, and if I hadn’t stolen a fire extinguisher from the supply room, there would have been a forest fire.

It’s also a pain in the ass to lug this shit through the foliage, and I drop the tiniest box for the third time.

“Damn it,” I growl and set the stack down, snatching up the fallen one to replace it back on the top of the tier.

The security guard my mother hired, Rick, offered to help carry some, seemingly always in the fucking parking lot, but I bared my teeth at him and upped my pace to get out of his lineof sight. He’s dumber than a sack of bricks, but I know he must be wondering what the hell I’m doing with all these packages. It doesn’t help that I caught him patrolling around the edge of campus, right on the cusp of the woods. The last thing I need is him stumbling upon my shack. I made a point to start better concealing things, and there’s always the ax… But I can’t be too safe.

Safe. Safe. I’m safe.The paranoia eats at me as I hoist the stack of boxes back up. If I wasn’t already crazy, I am now. I have fifty-five loaded bombs under a workbench with nothing but a tarp covering them, in a flimsy shack with an idiot roaming the grounds. The walls are closing in around me. I have an eye twitch that is driving me insane, and I’m pretty sure I’ve developed an ulcer in my stomach.

But I’ve come too far to give up now.

Haven’t I?

“Yes,” I say out loud, and then groan.

Great, now I’m talking to myself.

But Ineedthe verbal encouragement.

“You’re so close,” My breath is ragged as I teeter over a fallen trunk. “It’s normal to have doubts. Sky and your mother will…”

Will what? Wait for me in heaven? I fucking doubt it. Once hell gets a hold of me, I’m never getting out. Killing four-hundred people is mass murder. That’s an eternity of roasting on a spit. And do I really want that? Is it worth it? Three years ago, I would have said yes, but now… Now the idea of losing a lifetime with Sky seems to outweigh the vengeance. Because fuck this school and the people in it. Pretty soon, I won’t be tethered here. I’ll be free. I could go halfway across the world to Japan with Sky and never pay this place another thought. I always thought I would be doing the world a favor, taking out the sickness before it could spread, but it’s already out there and nothing I do—

“No,” I pant. “You’ve come this far.”

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