Page 65 of Soul of a Psycho

Stunned by the quick shift, I freeze and follow his gaze to the dirt, where the lighter fluid pools just before the tips of my shoes.

“Don’t come any closer.” He steps back, taking the flaming branch with him, and revealing his bloody knuckles.

My eyes drift to the moaning guy, putting two and two together, and I wince. I quickly look away from the gruesome beating, not sure how he’s alive, but thankful that he is. What could he possibly have done to warrant such an attack?

“Why?” I ask Cade sadly, not sure any reason would suffice.

Confusion hits his brows before he looks at the lump on the ground. His jaw ticks once, twice, three times, as the light drains from his eyes. And I realize I’ve made a terrible mistake.

“He knowswhy.” Cade grounds out.

And then he lifts the branch.

I don’t think as I lunge forward, shoes splashing into the puddle, and put myself in front of the guy. I squeeze my eyes shut, waiting for the flames to catch on my synthetic costume, to spread through my hair, and for the smoke to clog my lungs. It feels like hours and seconds at the same time as I wait for my fate.

“What the fuck are you doing?!” Cade finally seethes.

But I don’t open my eyes, not until I hear the branch swish through the air and hit dirt. Peeking, I see that it’s landed several feet away, towards the bonfire.

I sag as Cade stomps away. That was stupid of me, and I grasp my chest to calm my beating heart. Ruby rushes forward. I don’t get a second to catch my breath as she starts ranting; something about Cade needing a straitjacket, but I’m too busy watching the sway of his cloak as he disappears into the forest.

I shrug her off and run after him, surprised by the tears springing to my eyes. I don’t know if it’s the adrenaline crash or the worry that Cade might actually be too much for me, but I can’t let him go either way. I feel like a moth, destined to burn in his fire. It’s terrifying, but it’s woefully too late, because my wings are already burning.

I dip under a low-hanging bough, catching just a glimpse of black fabric round a tree, and head towards it. I can’t find my voice to call his name, and the deeper into the woods I go, the more the temperature drops. My tears cling like icicles to my cheeks as goosebumps prickle my skin, but it’s a reprieve from the heat of the bonfire.

Finally, he stops, and I come up on him just as he throws his fist into the trunk of a tree. I jump at the crackle of bark, but immediately rush forward to stop him from doing it again. I grab his wrist and practically hang from it, getting jerked as he pulls back.

“Stop!” I cry. “You’re hurting yourself.”

His knuckles are so mangled, one more hit and there won’t be any skin left to heal.

“Good.” He wrenches free and arcs back.

I shove him as hard as I can, not expecting to do much, and surprised when he lets me. He stumbles back, chest pumping, and fists his hair.

“I should have killed him,” he screams, almost as if he’s pleading to me. “I should have. I should have fuckingkilled him.” His voice echoes through the trees as he starts wrestling with the cloak. He pulls it over his head, taking his shirt with it.

“Why wait?” He looks up, tossing the fabric aside. “Why should I wait? What am I waiting for?”

I open my mouth, but words fail me as he advances. I’m not sure what he’s talking about, and he’s honest to gods scaring me. The moonlight is reflecting coldly off his bare skin, cutting shadows on the dips and plains of his chest. His hair is disheveled, hiding his eyes, and leaving me to guess how unstable he might really be.

“Do I like the torture?” He grabs me by the shoulders. “I must. I must, because I’ve let myself haveyou.” His fingers burn into my skin as hot tears drip down my cheeks. “You are the peak of torment,” he continues. “A fucking punishment I can’t resist. You’re going to unravel everything I’ve worked towards.”

“A punishment?” I scoff and shove at him, desperate to hide some of the tears in the wake of his venomous words. “What about the guy you were going tolight on fire? Was that a punishment? For what, Cade? What did he do to deserve that?”

There’s nothing. Not a thing that could excuse that, and yet I want him to try so badly. I want him to make it make sense. I want there to be a good reason so I can put to bed the worries that have claimed me with a death grip. The ones that tell me I’ve deluded myself into thinking he’s not insane.

His grip loosens as the wind picks up, sending a scatter of leaves between us, and tossing his hair back. His eyes, those breathtaking black pits, glaze and well with unshed tears. His pain is contagious, shredding my anger like razor blades, slicing me till I hurt just as deeply.

But I need a reason. I need something. Anything.

“Why, Cade?”

“I can’t…” his voice cracks as his forehead falls to mine.

“No.” I shake my head and try to pull away. I can’t do this. I can’t keep saving people from his wrath without a reason.

But he clutches my face and holds me closer. So close that his tears fall on my cheeks.

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