Page 53 of Soul of a Psycho

Only… my pocket is empty.

I grit my teeth, remembering that in my moment of despair I gave away the only things that give me solace. I would have ripped my own heart out of my chest if she wanted it, if that would have kept her from hating me. Something about the idea of losing the way she looked at me had felt, in that moment, like losing actual solace. The knives were a paltry sacrifice to keep that from happening.

But then I was alone… and weaponless.

After Sky demanded I leave, I waited for the police to show up, resigned to my fate at the foot of her building. I waited for the red and blue lights to illuminate the campus, for uniforms to haul me away in cuffs. But the night stayed still and dark. I eventually realized Sky must have somehow talked her friend out of reporting me.

Sheprotectedme.

Not so different from when she had thought I was stealing ice cream. It’s an odd feeling to have someone on my side.

I could have gone back to the shack and grabbed another switchblade. I wanted another switchblade. But that would have meant leaving my watch at Lamb Hall, leaving herunprotected.

So, despite how crippling it feels to not have my knives, I roll my shoulders and suck it up.

“You don’t want to make this a thing,” I say, glaring down at Caleb.

“You think I’m afraid of you because you got off a sucker punch on me?” He stands, drawing more attention.

I can feel Mrs. Fawn’s eyes on my back, watching me, looking for any reason to nail my ass to the wall, just like the rest of the teachers. The headmistress told me as much. Their little staff meetings have become heated as of late, with myunacceptablebehavior and lack of consequences starting a modern day lynch mob. They all want me out, regardless of my excellent grade point average. An assault on a faculty member is grounds for expulsion—an expulsion that did not happen because the headmistress has the final say. But I’m not stupid. I know that her power can only go so far.

I have to watch my step, have to tap into some of the restraint I’ve taught myself. I have to be smarter. Or else I’m fucked.

I let the glare slip off my face and replace it with faux confusion, an idea coming to mind.

“Sucker punch?” I raise my voice just enough for most of the class to hear, hoping Ms. Lane’s hearing aid is turned down.

If I play dumb, he will spell it out for everyone to hear, and then I can go for the throat, for the one place no guy can resist fighting over, especially with an audience.

“Oh, that’s right.” He nods in that cocky way that makes me want to smash his face in. “You probably don’t remember because of all the crazy pills they give you, being a mental patient and all.”

Red seeps into my vision, and I pierce my tongue with my teeth.Restraint. I have to have restraint.But this is exactly why I keep to myself. Who can have control against someone like this? Someone so vile and ignorant? It’s a fucking miracle I’ve had as much patience as I’ve had. I would love nothing more than to end us all right now.

But I can’t.

I have a plan that doesn’t end with a meager twenty deaths.

And I have Sky behind me, who needs a seat.

So, I don’t say anything—can’tsay anything without losing my fucking shit anyway, and keep the mask of confusion on.

Luckily, he doesn’t need me to egg him on.

“Wow!” He laughs. “Youarea fucking nutcase.”

Everyone spins in their seats, snickering at his insult, snickering atme.The nutcase. The fucking mental patient. I take slow breaths. Slow, steady breaths while digging my nails into the palm of my hand, and remind myself that it’s fine, remind myself about the crate under the workbench, remind myself what they all have in store.

They won’t be laughing for much longer.

“What exactly do you think I did?” I ask, barely holding back the rage, lacing the words with pure dubiety.

“You dislocated my jaw, you psychopathic fuck!”

There it is. That’s all I needed. I let the charade fall, and smirk, surprised how easily he fell into my trap.

“Oh shit, I did, didn’t I?” I lean in and put a palm on his shoulder. “Tell me, did it make it easier?”

He sneers down at my hand, and I take the opportunity to loosen my jaw. I don’t want to be tense for what comes next.

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