Page 48 of Soul of a Psycho

“Cade,” Ruby’s voice cracks as she scrambles back against the wall.

“Where isSky?” I flip the blade free.

Her eyes dart between me and the open door, but I doubt any of the selfish girls in this place will come to her rescue.

“You really are psycho!” She starts to tremble, but holds her chin up, trying to conceal it.

I smile, a crooked thing that tastes like poison, but I can’t help it.Yes, I am psycho. I spend so much energy trying to hide it, to not get caught, to bide my time, but here and now, it’s on display, and it feels liberating. I want to drench the room red and bask in it. Because maybe I’ve had it wrong all this time. Maybe I don’t need to go out with a bang. I can take just one, this rotten one that steals Sky’s happiness, and call it. I can just as easily slice my own throat after hers. It would feel so good to finally bedone.

I lunge for her, but she throws herself to the left. It’s a valiant effort, and I snarl, as if her tiny frame can compete with me. I wrap a hand around her bare ankle and wrench her towards me. She shrieks and kicks at me with her other leg. I dodge it easily. She’s too short compared to me, too weak.

It’s barely a struggle to pin her to the mattress and clamp a hand over her mouth. I use my body to hold hers down, and bring the knife to her throat. Its sharp edge poised at her straining tendon. If she moves, she dies, and as if sensing this, she goes rigidly still.

“Not so tough now, huh?” I shake my head. “It’s all justso muchfun talking shit until someone bigger comes along.”

Her eyes don’t flash in understanding, and I lock my jaw, agitated that I have to explain. But it’s imperative that she gets it before I kill her, least she be surprised by hell’s welcoming party for her.

“You fucked with Sky,mySky, and that’s fucking with me.” I seethe over her, feeling the hot breath from her nose on my knuckles. “You think you’re special, untouchable, that you don’t have to answer for your cruelty. Well, newsflash, princess, there’s always someone meaner, stronger, and crazier. And you’re looking at them.”

Terror leaks from the corner of her eyes, but she still looks confused, brows crunching together.

I shake her. “You shit on people! You break people down! And for what? So you can feel better about yourself? That’s what it comes down to, right? That’s the problem with our world. Everyone needs to feel like they are ontop,but no one is better than anyone. And that false hierarchy thrives in this shit hole. Itbreedsit. But I’ll damn myself making sure you parasites never get free. I’m doing the world a fucking favor ending your toxic existence.” I arch my elbow up, ready to drag my knife across her throat. “And to think you could have had more time if you just told me where Sky is.”

“I’m right here.”

I freeze, whipping my head around. Sky is standing in the doorway, clutching a towel at her chest, hair wet and plastered around her shoulders. Her eyes are wide, warring with confusion and panic.

“Sky…” My shoulders sag, and my vision blurs.

I’m at a loss for the sudden tears that pool in my eyes. Idon’tcry. Not anymore. But seeing her washes away the rage so quickly that I can’t keep up. She’s like a blanket of snow on a rooftop, falling on the hot coals of my anger. I thought… I really thought… But she’s okay.

And she’s a sight too. All flushed from a steamy shower, just a towel away from naked. I’m transfixed in relief and wonder, lost in the way she slows my heart rate.

Her eyes dart between me and the hand I have clamped over her roommate’s mouth, and then to the hallway behind her. With a jerky movement, she shuts the door, closing the three of us in, and the spell is broken.

“What are you doing?!” she hisses, voice filled with alarm and despair.

Ruby whimpers behind my fingers, and I blink away the tears, coming back to the fact that I’m one flick away from nicking her artery. Reality sets in, hard and cold.

I’ve fucked up.

There’s no coming back from this. Ruby will go right to their housemother, who will go right to the headmistress. The headmistress will go to either Rutherford or the sheriff. I’m not sure which first, but it all ends with me being chained to Briarcreek.

And I’m not going back there.

I sniff and tighten my hold, resolve coursing through me as I look into the eyes of the girl I’m about to kill.

I’m doing the right thing, anyway. Theonlything worth doing. Sky deserves this. I can cut my plans short for her.

“She hurt you,” I say, hating how hoarse my voice is. “You’ll get a better roommate when she’s gone.”

“Cade…” Sky’s feet creak on the floorboards.

“You’ll get a whole life once we’re gone.” The tears start again, and I choke on a sob.A fucking sob.I’m disgusted with myself.

The sooner I get this over with, the sooner it will all be over. I’ll be gone, and Sky can live past graduation. It’s perfect actually. Now I won’t have to look at her every day and have the guilt eat my insides. The paranoia will cease, thepainwill cease.

I. Will. Just. Cease.

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