Page 131 of Vicious Sentiments

“No.” Margo blinks the tears away. “He doesn’t know.”

“Ma…” Julian sucks air in through his teeth. “If he’s ever spoken to the FBI then they would have told him that they suspect you had something to do with it. The FBI already knew.”

“Jesus.” Cape slams the bottle down on the table. “I thought that was bullshit. You told us it was bullshit and we believed you during the custody battle.”

“I was just trying to help a friend, and neither Dillon nor Marney have any idea. They think it was an accident.”

The tone in her voice, regretful and self loathing, tells me she is positive that they don’t know. Dillon isn’t a mastermind. He’s impulsive and erratic. If he knew, there is no way he would have been able to keep it a secret the few times he’s lost it with me. He would have already done something about it, unable to control himself.

“I don’t think he knows either,” I say to calm down Cape.

“Great, so he’s just unhinged for no reason.” Cape picks the bottle back up and paces into his corner.

Julian ignores him and sits down next to his mother. “So, you’ve kept this to yourself all these years?” He grabs her hand.

“It was my cross to bear.”

“Fine, Ma. But you can’t let your guilt cloud that something is not right with Dillon. You can’t let him do this to you.”

“How long has he been trying to…” Cape prowls out of the corner. “Trying to… You know what I mean.”

“I’ve noticed it for a few years now.”

“Fuck!” Cape squirms in his skin.

“But he’s never gone as far as he did tonight,” she clarifies, and I take a breath of relief.

“He needs to go,” Julian says calmly.

“I can’t,” Margo says. “I can’t do that to him.” She pulls her handaway from Julian and turns. “I don’t know if he’s really like his father or if what I did, what he endured because of me, has made him like this.”

Cape’s eyes bulge out of their sockets and he cracks his neck at her refusal.

“I’ll make him go back to therapy,” she says. “I’ll force him to take any medication they provide.”

“Jesus, Ma. There isn’t a pill that can make you stop wanting to fuck your adoptive mother,” Cape snaps.

Margo clutches her stomach at Cape’s poor choice of words, and I feel for her. I also feel bad for Dillon. He watched his mother die and it’s no wonder he has a mommy complex. I can understand why Margo is so adamant to not abandon Dillon, because she feels responsible.

I don’t condemn her for what she did and I don’t care if that makes me wrong. I know that if Marney had a man hurting her, I would have him killed as well. No one can possibly understand if they haven’t gone through it. Men like that don’t deserve to live. If Margo cared for Macala as much as I care for Marney, then I understand.

It’s just unfortunate that her efforts also took Macala’s life.

Chapter Sixty-Six

The beach is colder than I thought a beach could ever be, considering they are only depicted as warm destinations, but it feels nice right now. The sand chills me through my pants and the silence, followed by wave after wave, is cleansing.

Julian and Cape think I’m somewhere in the house, taking a breather, and probably wouldn’t be okay with me sitting outside by myself but I’m beyond worrying about the Tortellis and I can’t listen to them argue with Margo anymore.

I know for a fact that both of them would end any man who hurt a woman, but neither of them can come to terms with Margo’s choices. I think they are struggling to imagine Macala’s experience. Men can be so simple and unless it’s staring them in the face, they can’t illicit the feelings.

I think part of it has to do with Dillon as well. They want him gone, and I get that. He’s a threat to the business, to their peace of mind, and to Margo. Who knows how much more unstable he can become? And if Marney doesn’t… Well, I don’t want to know.

I can’t get the image of Dillon kissing Margo out of my head. A steady stream of nausea has been present ever since and I breathe the cool salty air deep into my lungs to try and rid it.

I’m not knocking Dillon’s attraction to older women, butMargo? She’s raised him since he was fourteen. She’s basically his sister’smother. Margo doesn’t even flaunt herself either. She’s pushing maybe her mid-fifties but dresses like she’s already ninety. I’m not saying she’s not attractive. I just don’t see how he ever got the idea in his head to be attracted to her when he’s twenty-one and all she wears are floral muumuus.

God, I can imagine how disgusted Cape and Julian felt. Watching what might as well be their brother kiss their mom. I’m surprised by Cape’s control though. Do I think he probably would have hurt Dillon? Yes. But not kill him. I’m starting to think I don’t give him enough credit.

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