Page 11 of Vicious Sentiments

I don’t regret it, not in the slightest.

I even feel warm when I remember the blood pouring from Kyle’s nose. He had done much worse to me and the only regret I haveis that I wasn’t strong enough to do it myself. I wasn’t even strong enough to leave on my own. Even if Julian had dropped me off at a shelter I would be forever grateful for him pulling me out of there because I never would have done it myself.

I sit up, curling my legs underneath me and take in the room that Julian must have carried me to. The comforter over me is a white velvet that matches the heavy curtains and is contrasted by a pale gray in the ceiling trim and baseboards. The colors vary in muted shades but everything is alive with plants. Large leafy trees that look like swiss-cheese and mini palm trees stretch out in all directions. They grace every dresser, table, and shelf. It’s like a smaller version of a botanical garden and I’m in love with it.

Nothing ever lived long in my house. Every dog or flower eventually fell ill, and the only greenery in Bridgerock was the dried-up grass at the park. I’m surprised that I even made it out alive. A small thrill races through me.

I’m alive.

Chapter Eleven

Istayed in the bedroom for as long as I could before my stomach ached and the smell of bacon overpowered my anxiety about wandering in someone’s house.

I wish I had stayed in the bedroom.

As soon as I find my way down the stairs I’m met with four pairs of eyes. The first pair I find is Julian’s, who is leaning against the counter. His stubble is gone and his hair is freshly washed. For the most part, it’s neat and tucked but there is one lock that hangs forward, brushing his lashes. In my rested mind I realize that I didn’t need to be in a mental breakdown to go with him. Anyone in their right mind would follow him.

He’s stunning in a way that around the edges he’s sharp and dark but at his center he’s winsome and bright. Yes, his hair and eyes say danger, do not proceed, but his body is controlled and chiseled beneath his clothes. His smile is pure and genuine. His cheeks, the subtle lines on his face, tell me he’s never felt malice or bitterness.

I give him a half smile, trying to bury how enamored I am, aware of the other eyes on me.

“You better get a muffin before Cape eats them all,” a young girl says from the island where she’s sitting. She couldn’t be more than twelve, her bright blonde hair pulled into a sleek bun at the nape of her neck. She’s wearing purple silk pajamas and swinging her feetvicariously in the high bar-stool. “He already ate three.”

“Actually, I ate four,” Cape, presumably, says from the seat next to her.

I can immediately see the resemblance to Julian but he’s more aggressive in his features. He’s leaning back on the stool, arms hitched over the wings in a pose that invites people to take him in. It’s a cocky pose, one I know well.

I look away from Julian’s brother’s gaze, not wanting his attention.

“Four then.” The girl rolls her eyes. “All the chocolate ones. There’s still blueberry and cinnamon though.”

“That’s okay. I’m not that hungry,” I lie, edging closer to the island. The spread is like nothing I’ve seen before. Piles of bacon, eggs, hash browns, pancakes, a quiche, and said muffins.

“Oh stop that.” Margo sets a coffee mug on the counter and grabs a plate. “You’ll have a bit of everything. You’re nothing but skin and bones.”

I really don’t want to impose. I’d quietly avoid looking at the food and just ignore the pain in my stomach. I’m used to it by now. But I can’t help but feel grateful for Margo’s pushiness as she heaps eggs and a mountain of bacon onto my plate. My mouth waters as I shuffle closer to the buffet and nestle next to Julian.

He raises an amused brow at me and I blush. I may be a little too close to him but I feel like a fish out of water. He’s the only one I know, if barely.

I try not to eat ravenously as Margo introduces me to Cape and Marney, her goddaughter. She tells them my name too but I can sense it’s for show. They already know who I am, probably discussing me before I came down. I wonder what Julian told them. That he caught me about to drop myself from a bridge? That I’m riddled with bruises? That I’m weak and needed saving?

It would all be true, and maybe I’d be okay with Margo knowingand Marney wouldn’t understand at her age, I don’t think, but Cape? The thought makes me want to curl in on myself. He seems like the type to laugh at my weakness, kick me while down, rub dirt in my wounds and tell me to get over it.

I know I shouldn’t be judgmental. He could be a good guy. After all, Julian defied my expectations. But he has an aura, a gray mist hovering around him. Even now I can feel his eyes inspecting me. Every bite I take, every time I push my hair behind my shoulder, every involuntary huddle I make into Julian, is under a microscope.

If anyone else notices they don’t pay it any mind. Maybe I’m being paranoid. It wouldn’t be out of the question considering what I’ve been through, but I don’t think it is.

Marney is talking animatedly about ballet while Margo gives her a loving dose of undivided attention. The scene makes my heart warm and I smile absently, wondering where Marney’s parents are.

“I’m outta here.” Cape stands, grabbing another muffin.

“No, you’re not.” Julian straightens, his voice taking on an edge. I can’t help but scoot away from him because of it.

“It was your deal baby bro. I’m not tracking it.”

“The fuck you aren’t, Cape.” Julian folds his arms.

“Language.” Margo smacks a hand on the marble and I jump.

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