Page 106 of Vicious Sentiments

I blink a couple times, getting my vision back, and his hands rest on my waist. When I look around the room my chest constricts.

Oh, my god.

I place a hand against my stomach and stumble forward.

“Really?” I gape, not looking away from the lacquered baby grand piano. It has a silver glittery ribbon draped over it and the hood is propped up.

Neither of them say anything as I quickly kick off my heels andstumble towards it on weak legs. I don’t think I would make it if I kept my shoes on.

With wide eyes I run my hand over the smooth top and my soul does all sorts of lively things I didn’t think possible.

I never thought in a million years that I would get to play the piano again. I took that grain of salt with a bullet to my chest. The times when I could slip into the music room at school were theonlytimes I didn’t have to hurt. I knew when I graduated that I would never feel the keys beneath my finger tips, never be able to lose myself in the melodies that my fingers expertly slipped over.

How did he remember this? It was just a few minutes of me baring my soul, tipsy off the wine and then it was overshadowed by the drama.

“Julian…” Tears really do start to fall down my cheeks.

“It’s all yours. You can play whenever you want, for as long as you want,” he says somewhere behind me.

“You…” I start but I don’t have words. There isn’t a thing I can say that would convey how much this means to me. I never would have asked for this. I would have buried this one thing that brought me comfort and forgot about it in the wake of the wonderful man—men—that have taken me into their hearts.

“Do you want to play?” Julian’s voice is closer now, and I can suddenly feel the heat of his body next to me.

“I don’t know if I—”

“Play,” Cape says, and I realize he’s taken a seat on the couch, his feet kicked up on the table.

I take a shaky breath and let myself sink into the seat before the keys.

“I’m not good,” I try to tell him.

“I’m sure that anything coming from you will be beautiful.” Julian leans on the piano with one elbow.

I swipe at the tears on my cheeks and then straighten. I let my hands graze the black and white keys of solace. There was never anyone to hear me play. I wasn’t part of a class and I made sure that no one was in the halls.

I thought I would never play again. I’ve tried to forget every string of notes I know so that their presence in my mind couldn’t crush my heart. Now, I try desperately to remember them. There’s only one that comes to mind at the moment and it’s one that I rarely played. It was too happy, too full. It used to hurt to play it, but now it’s all I want to hear.

I begin slowly, shakily, unsure if I remember it correctly but then it’s coming quickly, easily. I don’t even have to think as my fingers take over. I close my eyes and relish the soothing vibrations that come from the strings in the wooden case hitting correctly.

I tilt my head and I’m not here. I’m every note, every ring. I’m up and down and left and right. I’m music, freedom, and light.

I have no idea if Cape or Julian think it’s being played right. It sounds right to me, feels good to me and I’m euphoric, realizing that I don’t care. I just play for myself.

I thought that I didn’t need this. That Julian and Cape would be enough, Marney and Margo, my new family. But I do need this. For the moments when the happiness is too much, when the memories of my nightmare life plague me… I need this.

The song crests and then falls, slowly pacing out, and I hit the final key with a reverence that feels like closing a book. When I open my eyes, Julian has his brows drawn together and his eyes glimmer with wonder.

“Hailey…” He shakes his head, and I blush at his loss of words. “That was…”

Cape is still on the couch but he’s sitting forward, his feet planted on the floor and he looks like he’s stuck in a trance, his eyes glossyand lost.

My line of sight is pulled away as Julian grips my cheeks and puts his lips against mine. The initial shock that he’s actually kissing me, Julian iskissing me,the man who saved me and brought me home to his family, fades quickly as I sink into his hold on me. His lips slip between mine and I can finally taste him, his breath, his desire. His tongue is hungry as it swirls against mine, like I’m a wine he can’t get enough of.

I’m suddenly pressed against his chest, my hands roaming up and down, feeling his body between the fabric as I crane my neck to reach his kiss. His hands slip to the nape of my neck and his fingers tangle between my hair. It’s intoxicating and my chest pumps erratically. I don’t give myself any room to breathe as I paw at him because I need his lips on mine more than I need oxygen.

A hard body presses against my back and I moan into Julian’s mouth. Cape wraps his firm arms around me, slipping his hands between me and Julian’s body. He runs a hand ruggedly down my chest. The velvet of my dress rolls and my breasts fall out. My nipples are only cold for a second before he cups them, massaging them as his lips come down to my ear. I feel a tickle as my legs weaken. His breath is ragged and I lean into it. His lip grazes my ear and I feel myself dampen between my legs.

My god, this is it.

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