Page 57 of Marked By the Alphas

They were going to be fathers two times over. I felt a surge of happiness and pride, a warmth spreading through me as I imagined a house filled with the patter of tiny feet, but that warmth was almost overshadowed by a looming sense of unease. As the celebration swirled around me, I couldn't shakethe anxiety that I felt at the thought of carrying their children. What if something went wrong? What if I ended up being a bad mother?

I knew that it was too early to have these kinds of thoughts, but from the moment that Rhys had told me about my pregnancy, it was almost like I had been attacked by a flood of doubt and uncertainty and it had only continued to grow and grow.

Anyah wiped the gel off my tummy and Rowan immediately rushed to my side to bring me to a sitting position.

“From what I can see, everything looks normal and the twins are developing right.” Anyah’s smile faded slightly. “However, this is no small feat. Carrying two lives within you is a delicate balance, Elara, and you have to take extra care. Rest is paramount and I don’t think I need to emphasize that regular check-ups are essential.” Her voice grew stern.

“Any sign of discomfort, no matter how small, must be reported immediately. We must pray to the Goddess for a smooth pregnancy, but should anything happen, we need to be able to discover it early enough so that we can take the necessary steps,” she finished, and although I knew the older woman was only sharing the facts, her words caused the dread in my stomach to rise even higher.

“Can I still continue my training?” I asked Anyah.

“If these trainings are physical, then absolutely not! You need to stay off your feet and rest as often as possible,” she said, dashing my hope of returning to the daily routines I loved and had gotten used to over the weeks.

“You can trust that we’ll take great care of her, Anyah. Thank you so much for your help,” Kai said, and I moved out of the bed, sighing heavily when Rowan and Rhys, who were closer to me, each took my hand and began leading me out of the room while Kai stayed back to collect the medicine that Anyah wanted to prescribe for me.

It wasn’t like I didn’t appreciate the help from all three of them. I did, more than anything in this world. I was grateful to have them in my corner, looking after and sharing this phase of my life with me. But right now, I felt overstimulated.

Since the announcement of my pregnancy, they had begun treating me like I was a fragile egg who could break at any point, and while I appreciated their love and concern, it was starting to feel suffocating.

They had begun planning a mating ceremony, and Kai had explained that the mating ceremony would bind all four of us together, which meant that I could draw from their strengths and abilities, which would be beneficial for both me and the incoming babies. While a part of me was really looking forward to it, especially since it would strengthen the bond between my mates and myself, a much bigger part felt a great sense of apprehension over all the rushed planning.

The journey home was a blur of excited chatter and planning.

“We need to start making plans for a nursery right away. We need to use neutral colors since we’re not sure of the gender of the babies yet, and even when we confirm, I still think it’ll be nice if we maintain neutral colors,” Kai said, as he looked into the rearview mirror to wink at me in the back seat.

“I totally agree, and we should start shopping soon. The earlier, the better, because we are going to need a lot of clothes, toys, and essentials,” Rhys chipped in.

“We have also started making plans for the mating ceremony which will be held tomorrow. We want it over and done with as soon as possible so it’s not hanging over our heads,” Rowan said, and I hummed in agreement. Kai also began saying something else, but I tuned out the conversation. I looked out the window, seeing the familiar streets blur together. My mind was elsewhere.

Not only was I worried about being pregnant and unprepared for this new life, I also had to worry about Silas.

The recent feeling of being followed or watched while I was out, along with the attack on the borders that had happened weeks ago, confirmed that Silas was still scheming and had yet to give up. I shuddered to think of what he would do if the news of my pregnancy got to him.

Even though I hadn’t met my little ones yet, I knew that I would go to the end of the world to make sure they were protected. I would die before I let Silas touch a hair on their heads, and my mind was whirling with thoughts about how best to keep them protected and far away from Silas’ clutches.

“We’re home, baby,” Rowan announced and I snapped back to the present, taking the hand he offered as he led me into the house.

I felt exhausted and I wanted nothing more than to sleep, but as soon as we got to the room, I was engulfed in a whirlwind of excitement and planning.

“We were hoping to also talk to you about the mating/Luna ceremony that we are planning for tomorrow,” Kai announced and my heart dropped to my stomach at his words.

It took a moment for my mind to process the information completely, but when it did, it felt like my body and mind went up in flames. They must have seen the panic on my face because they immediately reached out to me.

“Elara?” Rhys called and I shook my head, pulling my hand away from his.

“I’m not ready for that. There’s a lot of things that could go wrong. What if the people don’t want me? What if I mess it all up? What if something goes incredibly wrong and then you all start to regret your decision…”

“Hey, baby, stop,” Rowan said, taking my feet into his hands so he could massage them, but the action did nothing to help my anxiety. “This is what we want, so believe us when we say it’s what the people want too. You’re not going to mess it up. Nothing will go horribly wrong. We’ll be here to hold your hands and help you every step of the way. The mating ceremony is perfect to bind all four of us, and it’ll be good for not just you, but the babies too.”

Kai and Rhys chipped in too and they began trying to convince me to see why this was the best idea.

Finally, the dam broke. “Stop! Just stop it, all of you. I need some time to breathe,” I snapped, immediately regretting my outburst as I saw the look of hurt wash over their faces. But the words were already out.

“I just need to breathe and think. Please, understand,” I added, my voice softer now.

“It’s okay. We understand. We’ll give you some space,” Kai finally responded when the initial shock of my outburst subsided, and with gentle kisses on my head and lips, they made their way out of the room, shutting the door behind them and leaving me to the silence.

I let out a breath I didn’t even know I had been holding, sinking deeper into the quilt while fighting the tears that threatened to fall. I felt so overwhelmed, and the blissful feeling of sleep that I had hoped for was nowhere to be found. I was stuck with my raging thoughts and worries.

---