Page 98 of Her Pretty Words

I step closer to her, so we are flush together. “I’m right here, Mace.” Her body jolts against me when a loud howl pierces through the air.

I turn my head and look at the animal responsible for the sound. It wags its tail so hard; the momentum makes its butt wiggle. “I have a stupid question,” I say. “Who is that?”

She pulls away and walks over to the dog. It wears a lavender collar and sheds all over my bed. Macy scratches behind its ears and the husky licks her arm. She turns to me with the brightest smile that makes my heart throb. “This is Daisy.” The dog howls at her name and then hops off my bed to sit in front of me. “Remember when we saw her at the fall festival?”

I nod.

“Well.” She brings her thumb to her mouth and bites the nail. “I couldn’t stop thinking about her. She needs a stable home, which I couldn’t give to her since I wasn’t sure what I was even doing with my life. But since I’m living here now, and I don’t plan on going anywhere…well, I figured we could help her, and she could help you.” She gazes down at Daisy and her eyebrows bunch together. “She reminds me of you.”

I felt a pull toward the dog the moment I saw her at the festival, but I never imagined adopting her.

“I don’t know much about dogs,” she says. “I never had one growing up. But I do know that husky’s howl a lot, and well…I figured it would never be quiet again.”

“I thought I’d burn alive in the silence. Or drown. Whichever is worse,”I said to Macy once.

“You got me a dog?”

“Yes. Well, she can stay at my house if you don’t want her to be at yours. But I figured she’d beourdog.”

Expressionless, I bend down. Daisy wags her tail and opens her mouth to pant. It looks like she’s smiling. I feel my face shift to reflect hers. I smile so wide it probably looks unnatural on someone like me. But then I realize Daisyissomeone like me, and her smile is fitting. “I love you,” I say. When Macy doesn’t answer, I realize she thinks I’m talking to Daisy. “I loveyou,” I clarify. But I feel my heart expanding. The love I thought I could only extend to Macy and my family grows when Daisy licks my cheek. I laugh.

“I love you too.”

I stand, grab Macy’s hand, and lead her to the bathroom. She tilts her head and eyes me with confusion, but I lift her up and set her on the counter with no explanation. I brush my teeth and swish around minty mouthwash, and then I kiss Macy the way I’ve dreamed of every night for the past month.

She moans into my mouth and tastes exactly as I remember, and when her sweet scent wraps around me, I think that this can’t be real, because the girl who grew up alongside me, who I’ve loved my entire life, just moved next door. Permanently.

I make love to her right there on the bathroom counter, and then I take her into my shower and rub soap on her skin. I can’t stop grinning.

To be loved is to be known, and Macyknowsme. She got me a dog to fill the quiet. So that I’ll never drown in it again.I don’t deserve this woman.

“I’m so proud of you,” she says, tilting her head back and rinsing the shampoo from her hair. My eyes follow the suds trailing down her body.God, she’s heavenly.

I’ve had countless sessions with Linda, ripping open the wound I once survived. I’m here, standing before the woman I love, feeling the water pelting onto us.

I’m alive.

I have a session in a couple of days, and I’m going to continue putting in the work forme. I’m learning to find happiness within myself, so I can be whole on my own. Because I won’t be a burden to the woman I love. I won’t draw my happiness from her and dim the light she finally got back. I refuse to see my girl anything other than glowing.

This is exactly what Delilah would want. She never liked to see me upset, and she’d make a fool of herself just so I’d laugh. I know that wherever she is, she’s proud of me too. Along with mom and dad.

A muffled howl sounds from outside the bathroom door which causes Macy to laugh. “I think someone wants us to hurry.”

We towel off and put our clothes on. Daisy greets us with the same level of excitement. She spins in circles and bounces between Macy and me. Then, Macy gives me a strange look, biting back a smile. She eyes me for a moment, then takes off sprinting down the hallway. I get to my feet and chase her. Daisy follows us out the front door, her nails clicking against the wood. Without shoes, Macy runs over the tiny pebbles in my driveway, but I step into my sneakers which gives her a head start. She runs toward the shoreline and breathlessly laughs when she sees how far I am.

Once I make it to her, she eyes my shoes. “Can you carry me inside?” she asks. “The rocks hurt.”

I would carry her through fire if she asked. I lift her up and bring her into our new life.

It’s been a week since Macy moved into her grandparents’ house, and we’re still unpacking. She sold that ridiculous treadmill yesterday, thank God.

I went out and bought an AC unit the first day of moving boxes since her and I were drenched in sweat. I’m standing in front of it now after putting together Macy’s dream bookshelf with a sliding ladder to reach the top. The cool air blows against my skin.

“Look what I found in the back of my closet when I was packing,” Macy says, walking over to me with her hair in disarray, wearing one of my T-shirts. She holds a glittering jewelry box and hands it to me. I open it and find a picture of us when we were younger, and when I turn it over and see loopy handwriting, I hear Macy sniffle.

When I meet her glassy eyes, I frown. “What’s wrong?”

“I wasn’t there,” she whispers. “When my grandma died, she was all alone.”

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