Page 65 of Her Pretty Words

“And you think you do?” he calls from behind me.

I stop walking for a moment. “No one does,” I say, clenching my jaw.She’s too perfect for the scum in this world.“But I’ll become a man worthy of her, even if it kills me.” I leave himwhere he stands, not giving a damn where he stays tonight, or if he finds a doctor to fix the nose I broke.

I startle when I see Macy’s dad walking toward us.How much did he see?His gaze goes to Walter, and then settles on the bruised fist I hold. He gives me a subtle nod. I return it and then leave him to get whatever revenge he sees fit for his daughter.

I attempt to get some sleep, but I toss and turn in my bed. I go into my living room and prop open a Minerva Day book, hoping her words can relieve the stress of tonight.

Chapter 23

Macy

Once my mom goes to her room, I step into my sneakers and cross the distance between mine and Grayson’s house. I send her a quick text.Going to a friend’s house.My heart is drumming in my chest and I wipe my slick hands on my shorts. I try to tell myself it’s from the conversation with my mom, but I can’t deny what’s happening any longer.

I was wrong before when I thought it felt like I was falling into a wishing well, hoping to find Grayson at the bottom. Falling is simple. You jump and eventually you land. This is different. It feels as though I’ve been pushed into that well, clawing at the walls with bloodied nails, fighting to never reach the bottom.

It’s not the impact that I fear. The water will break my fall. It’s not knowing what else lies in that water. How will I climb out? Will I find bottomless gold? Will I drown?

Fear is an angel in disguise, perched on our shoulder, whispering in our ear to keep us safe. We often judge fear, pick it apart and criticize it. We never ask fear “why?”

Why am I so scared to simply allow myself to fall?

It’s simple really. I don’t want to get hurt, and the way I feel for Grayson… The intensity will burn me alive if something goeswrong. Walter hurt me, that much is certain, but it was a mere sting in comparison to the catastrophe Grayson could leave me with.

This fear is loving. It wants me safe. But comfortability will only get me so far in life, and if I allow Fear’s whisper to dictate everything I do then I’ll never truly live. The thought alone is a nightmare.

And so, with shaky hands, I bring my fist to the door and tap ever so slightly. And maybe that’s fear, deep down hoping he won’t hear my knock so I can go home believing I tried. But he hears, and the door creeks open.

Chapter 24

Macy

Fright is delicious when it greets me with flaming eyes, a crooked grin, and hair in disarray. An alarm sounds from my chest, pumping blood in my ears.I see you, fear. But I’m doing this anyway.

It’s hold on my heart releases, falling away until it’s just a girl standing before the boy she’s falling for, stomach in knots and blush in her cheeks.

“Hi,” he says, his midnight voice is hoarse.

“Hi.”

“Is everything okay?” he asks.

I shake my head. “No.”

His expression shifts to something slightly alarmed.

“Grayson?”

His eyebrows pull together. “Yes?”

“Invite me in.”

He steps aside, allowing me to pass the threshold. Strawberries and a scent which can only be described ashimfills the dim space, only lit by a single lamp in the corner.

“I’m tapping out,” I say. “I can’t play nonchalant any longer or pretend to dislike you.” Eyes on the sunset wall, I whisper, “You win.”

In his silence, fear is raging like an angry sea. But I remain still, despite everything happening within. I feel him behind me, like standing too close to a furnace. Closer and closer the heat gets, until my wrist is encompassed by his hand, and it feels like flames licking up my arm. His breath is against the shell of my ear. “I lost the moment my eyes set on you, Mace. I’ve been at your mercy for what feels like my entire life.” His words hold a certain power, turning my skin to gooseflesh despite the heat.

The tips of his fingers are trickling up my arm, knuckles delicate as he moves my hair over my shoulder and kisses the back of my neck. He’s pressing his nose against my hair. “So sweet,” he purrs. His hands dig into my hips to spin me around, which forces a gasp from my parted lips. He backs me up until I’m pressed against a wall.The sunset wall.“You’ve invaded my mind and now my home,” he says. “You consume my every thought.” He eyes my lips. “If we’re done playing, if this isreal, then kiss me,” he says.

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