Page 5 of The Moment Promised

I burst.

My face falls into my hands. I’m crying so hard I think I might drown in my own tears. I might flood the entire earth with my pain.

No one likes school. My classmates buzz with excitement as the end of the day nears. They squeal and run to their parent’s car when it comes into view at carline.

Me? I stare at the clock and wish it would stop moving. When I’m sitting at my desk holding my wooden pencil, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. Because even when the girls secretly judge my yellow pencil with the pink eraser, I am safe. I pretend having wooden pencils instead of mechanical ones is my biggest struggle in this world.

“Hey,” a boy with brown hair says as he sits on the swing next to me.

I gasp, quickly wiping my tears away. Is he talking to me? I glance around, I’m the only one on the playground besides a pretty lady sitting on the bench. She must be his mom.

She smiles at me.

“Hi.” I sniffle, embarrassed that the boy saw me crying, but he doesn’t draw attention to it. Instead he asks, “Want to see something cool?” He brings his cupped hands close to my face before I can even answer. “I caught him over there in the grass.” He reveals a tiny lizard in his hands. The reptile tries to jump out, but the boy cups his hands together, trapping it.

And the craziest thing happens.

I smile.

“Here, you can hold him.” The boy smiles at me again, this time I notice a dimple on his cheek.

“I’ve never held a lizard before.”

“It’s a baby gecko,” he says. “I catch them all the time here.”

“He’s kind of cute.”

“Hold out your hands.” He places the tiny creature into my palms. I stare in awe. How could something so small, so fragile, survive in this big cruel world?

I shriek as the gecko jumps out of my hands and runs back into the grass.

“Sorry!” I say with wide eyes.

He laughs, easing my guilt. “Don’t worry, that happens to me all the time.” He brings the back of his hand to his forehead to wipe the sweat gathered there. “My name is Finn, what’s yours?”

Finn. It’s a kind name for a kind boy.

“I’m Adeline.”

3

NOW

My skin is rubbed raw, but I think after a good scrub, I’m back to normal. You know, not all bobble headed looking at my best friend’s shoulders. Besides, I’m not the type of girl to turn to mush over biceps and pretty eyes.

When your heart’s been shredded to pieces in the past, all you can do is grow a protective shell around it and hope no force can break through.

Images of an angry man flash before my eyes, chilling my skin and speeding my heart. I close my eyes and shred the memory of my father, like I’ve trained myself to do.

I’m single because I choose to be, not because the option of an alternative hasn’t arisen. My lack of mingling with the opposite sex doesn’t bother me. I sleep just fine knowing I’m nineteen and haven’t even had my first kiss.

Don’t get me wrong, I believe in love… I’d be an arrogant fool not to.

But love is a temporary feeling, just like any emotion. I mean, come on, a brain can only make so much oxytocin; eventually it will run dry.

I wrap my towel around my body and reach for my clothes…No!

I forgot to bring clothes into the bathroom. All I have are my filthy work clothes I’d hate to put back on my body after taking a shower.

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