Page 52 of The Moment Promised

He shakes his head, says in a pleading voice, “You deserve the whole wide world. I’m in college, hours away, for another three years. That’s not enough for you. Iknowthat’s not enough, and I’m not doing anything halfway when it comes to you.” He pauses. “Us kissing won’t do anything aside from temporarily relieving ourselves and complicating things.”

“It doesn’t have to complicate things.” I say something I never imagined I’d say to him, “I-I want you, Finn.” I shake my head because that’s wrong. “Ineedyou,” I say like my survival depends on it.

His eyes hold hope for a moment before something slaughters it. “If we crossed this line and it didn’t work out, I’d just be another man who hurt you. I can’t risk that happening and I can’t lose you.”

“But—”

“You’ll thank me one day.” He releases his hold on my face and walks back to the car without glancing back.

I stand nearly naked in the rain, shivering from the rejection of the man I love.

Perhaps love only ends well in the novels, and maybe this is his way of preserving the closest thing to happiness as we could get: by withholding ourselves from the flame that begs to ignite.

But I know I’d be happy doing this with Finn, surpassing any level of the emotion I could’ve experienced before. I want to let this passion free, let it take us somewhere I’ve never been.

Even if we never blossom into something worth reading about… I still want Finn. In every way.

I glance around this empty forest, noting it’s something out of a fairy tale. This place, it’s almost as if it doesn’t exist. Like whatever happens here doesn’t happen in the real world.

Like a dream.

I can already feel myself grieving him after this, experiencing a worse pain than if we smother the flame right now.

But I think in the end, if I don’t get him at all, maybe I’ve lost more than I gained by being careful.

I pull my shoulders back and walk briskly to him. I open the passenger door, the one Finn escaped to. He stares at me, saying nothing. His expression is thin ice, like one little thing will shatter the guard he holds up. I feel my skin burning for his touch.

I climb onto his lap and pull the door closed, in need of what he can give me. His lips are still swollen from mine only a few moments ago. “Just for tonight.” I say three simple words, hoping they convey everything I feel.

His eyes skim the length of my body.

I gasp at his cold hands that start at my lower back and slowly caress upwards. He’s careful, eyelids heavy as he looks up through wet eyelashes.

I focus on pulling air into my lungs. I’m afraid if I don’t, I will pass out on the spot.

“We shouldn’t.” His gaze is like honey dripping down my skin.

I rake my fingers through his dampened hair. “But can’t we have this, just this once? We can leave it right here in the forest.”

He fights something within himself, his eyes no longer on me but someplace else entirely. “Ad, we can’t?—”

“What if we never do this?” I try to bring him back, right here with me. “I don’t know about you, but I will always wonder what it would have been like.” My entire body feels as fragile as glass, and I realize I am already in too deep to be strong enough to resist Finn or what might come after this.

This might break me, but I’d rather live as Finn’s shattered remains than never experience him. All of him.

I must’ve said the right thing, because his fingers tighten around the side of my hips, something ticks in his jaw. There is so much energy passing between us, I feel the slight tingle in the air separating us. It’s almost as if it’s silently pleading with us to close the space. To become one.

It’s like we share one soul. I remember him saying those words.

“You’re not someone I can just leave behind in a mossy forest.” His face angles up to mine. Our lips catching with heavy breaths.

My mind goes still, the millions of thoughts I once had completely go out the car window. Like I was caught in a tornado and Finn grabbed onto me, pulling me out of the chaos.

He clings onto my bare skin while his tongue parts my lips.

All the doubts that once plagued my mind, that set up a barrier between us and this moment, they all just melt away. All that exists is Finn. His groans and his touch and his breath.

His hand leaves my skin, I’m covered in goosebumps from the lack of warmth. A dull buzz rings in my ears as the seat reclines beneath us.

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