Page 87 of Golden Burn

A mother’s care. A friend with a feminine touch.

Although we haven’t known each other long, having Martise by my side calms me during a very emotional situation. She reads my moods and their deeper meaning without poking for a reason behind them. She offers her reassurance when I need it the most. She’s the perfect person to hand me off to my future husband.

Odin.

Harvey.

Thinking about his confession last night tears at my heart. The memory of his expression, raw and vulnerable and hopeful, rips at my bloody walls, forcing more room for him to make a home.

Rolling my shoulders back, I breathe and breathe, remembering that this is still a day crackling with tension. I need to have my wits about me. I need to keep up the ruse that Odin and I are enemies. I can’t let them see how elated I am.

Admiring myself in the mirror, I imagine my mother beside me just this once. I imagine her hair all done up, her makeup looking perfect, and her brown eyes watery. I imagine she is near bursting with love for her only daughter. I imagine she can’t stop fiddling with my dress, touching my cheek and telling me how proud she is. I imagine she wishes me awonderful life with my soon-to-be husband and that she can’t wait to be a grandmother.

I imagine her like that—beaming and warm and real.

Then I tuck her away to bring out later when I’m not standing in front of a room full of strange people who barely know me.

My makeup is flawless and fresh. My hair is curled and pinned, kissing my jaw. My dress is steamed and wrinkle free, tailored to fit my frame perfectly. My shoes are polished and slightly worn in. My wedding band sits in Dom’s pocket, gleaming gold. My veil floats down my back, waiting to be pulled over my face when the time is right.

I breathe once more.

Then I head out into the living room.

Ford and Dom stand when I enter. Both of them blink rapidly. Ford is speechless, but I notice the wonder in his eyes. Dom is the more composed, but then I see him wipe something out from under his glasses and I can’t help but laugh.

“Am I a sight to behold or what?”

“You’re stunning,” Martise offers and comes to grab my gloved hands. “Odin is a lucky, lucky man.”

Ford and Dom come to my side. Without direction, we all grab hands. Ford in mine and Martise in the other. Dom in between the two.

Something happened last night.

Something clicked into place.

And these people right here, they mean more to me than I ever thought possible. They accepted me into their group, sheltered me and provided for me when they could have done the opposite. I’ll cherish them for the rest of my life.

With our hands intertwined, Martise speaks. “No matter what happens today, this is not about the Lombardos. This is about two peoplecoming together. This is about faith and love. This is about renewal. This is about making a brighter future.”

“Amen,” Ford mumbles.

“But also,” Dom adds, “If the flowers aren’t fresh, I’ll fucking throw a fit.”

We all burst out laughing. Ford breaks the circle to grab Dom by the face and kiss him hard. It’s the most precious thing I have ever seen.

Then, like the universe is playing a joke on me, it’s time to go.

It’s time to get hitched.

“I’m hot. Are you hot?” I ask Martise, fanning my armpits.

She chuckles. “Yes, it’s warm, but you’re just nervous, my darling.”

I am. I’m so fucking nervous.

The restaurant is full of people. Only twenty, apparently. But it seems like thousands. The celebrant introduced himself to me, but I can’t remember his name. I haven’t been to a wedding in years. What the fuck do I do? What the fuck do I say? How do I pee in this dress and still maintain my dignity?

Martise slips her arm into my elbow and squeezes. “Just breathe, walk slowly, and focus.”

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