Page 41 of Golden Burn

I pout. “She won’t hurt me.”

“I’m not taking the chance.”

My breasts press into his toned arm. My heart rate sours to a dangerous level. “Can I stand between your legs?” He doesn’t budge, not for several seconds. “I promise I’ll be good.”

The weight of my promise dangles like a grape from the vine poised on the tip of his mouth. My shoulders shake with a shiver, my body curves around his arm. The image of me being a very good girl puffs like smoke behind my eyes, momentarily stunning me.

Eventually, he relents. “Don’t push it.”

Taking a deep breath, I move until my legs are positioned between his, my hands now resting on the side of the car. Like slotting a book into the perfect gap on a shelf. It’s insane to be like this with him. Friendly. Intimate. Aware of his every breath and move.

“It’s beautiful, eh?” Lance says.

I wipe my eyes with the bottom of my shirt, knowing full well that my naked stomach will flash briefly right in front of Odin. He shifts in his seat; his hand comes to rub along his jaw. I see it all unfold in my periphery because I’m still so enamored with the elephants.

From a young age, my mother always reminded me that I’m not alone. That I, along with seven billion other people, share the planet with creatures who did not have a voice. And our role as humans was to make sure we listened. That we respect a mouse as equally as we do a human being. I try every day of my life to do that. Now, more so than ever, I feel her presence next to me. Her smile and her voice are so clear. Her joy and her pride wrap around me from the heavens and boosts my already joyful mood. Like a shot of sunlight straight to the heart.

Under my breath, I whisper over to elephants, “Hi, guys, it’s an honor to share the planet with you.”

We stop halfway through the day to convene together along the Luangwa River and have lunch. I’m buzzing and so hyped that I can’t stop talking.

“Did you see the leopard? Oh my God, how incredible was it? The patterns on its fur! Its eyes! Its paws! I can’t believe it. This is the best day of my life.” Ford chuckles along with my enthusiasm. Odin, however, is not as amused. I don’t think it’s me, necessarily, but something is happening to him. Like an invisible knife is pressing into his gut. A mixture of anger and sadness and fear.

I try to decipher it as I nibble on the sandwiches and little mini tarts provided for us to eat, but it’s gone before I can study it. He’s good atthat. Hiding, shoving down what he’s feeling until it’s dead. It must be tiring.

Martise strides over as I reach for seconds. Ford happily chats with Lance and the other ranger, so when she catches me, I’m alone.

“You have a bright soul, Dr. Etta. It makes me emotional just watching you watch the animals.”

“I hope you’re wearing waterproof mascara, because I made that horrendous mistake,” I say, as I point to the blotch of black on my cotton shirt.

Martise chuckles, glancing quickly over to Odin and then back to me. “How long have you known Odin?”

I’m not sure she has been made aware of our… relationship. So, I keep it simple. “Not long.”

“Have you peeled back all of his layers yet?”

I scoff. “Is that even possible?”

Martise gives me a sympathetic smile. “It is. Or it should be. He used to be like you—full of spirit, so connected to life, and determined to see everything the world had to offer.” It makes sense, I suppose. No one is that jaded and cold, not without having been affected by something life altering. “Odin is complicated, but so utterly simple. He has been broken for a long time. After everything that happened with Gen—”

“Gen?” I interrupt. No one’s told me anything about a person named Gen.

Martise appears as though she’s made a mistake. “You do not know?”

“About what?”

She raises her hands in apology. “I’m sorry. It is not my place to discuss.” Then takes one of my wrists and pulls my hand into her dry, warm palms. We make eye contact. It’s so deep I might be drowning. “But you… You are just whathe needs.”

I shouldn’t even want to know. I shouldn’t even care about the man who stole me and blackmailed me into staying. But I can’t help from asking, “How so?”

“Just keep shining, and hopefully he will realize how freeing it is to step into your light rather than shy away from it.”

“Shall we continue?” Lance calls to all of us. Martise squeezes my shoulder and smiles softly. The pressure of her touch lingers on my skin, making me think of my mother again. I’ve missed having a friend. I’ve missed the bond women share in companionship. Martise, so quickly, seems like she could fill that void.

I dismiss the idea. She probably has plenty of friends and I most likely won’t see her again after this trip of a lifetime. It’s disappointing and affects my mood like a cloud hovering over my head.

Following her lead, we make our way over to the cars and I reclaim my position next to Odin. He doesn’t even seem to notice I’ve returned, and that hurts more than the fact that Martise will become another stranger in my revolving door of a social life.

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