Page 153 of Crave

I’m not sure why I forgot she was going into psychiatry.

“This year I have to pick my dissertation project,” she sighs, leaning back into the pillows of the couch.

“What does that mean?” How did I eat the entire container? Was I really that hungry?

“I have to choose what my topic is going to be. I think I want to go with something about men’s mental health and how depression affects them because of societal pressures.” She turns her ring and her eyes drift to the window. “I don’t think there’s enough talk about it.”

“That sounds very noble.” I think I might be sick. My belly hurts from being so full.

“It’s hard to see the people you care about suffer.” She turns and pins me with a hard stare.

Is she talking about me?

CHAPTER 76

ALEXEI

The walkback to my cell after Drago left feels like it’s miles.

But isn’t long enough.

What the fuck am I supposed to do? Kill the only man who’s shown me any compassion?

He may be my only protection in here.

There’s a very real chance I off him, and I’m still left here to rot.

But if I don’t, I’m sure to never get out.

Shit.

Frustration has me punching the concrete wall next to my bed. The pain doesn’t bring any clarity, just new scars.

I squeeze my fingers and watch the blood dribble through the scuffs on my knuckles.

Am I ever going to touch Lara again? Will I get to feel the heat of her skin, the warmth of her touch?

She’s worth all the risk.

How do I do this?

Tossing and turning on my thin cot all night doesn’t help me come up with any kind of plan.

I guess I’ll do what I do best, take advantage of the spur of the moment.

I’m dreading it.

When the cell door slides open, I take my usual place in line behind him, and follow his shuffling steps to the mess hall.

Maybe I should just choke him out right here?

In front of everyone and get tossed in a hole? No way.

Sliding my tray on the rails next to his, I wonder if a fast punch to his throat would be enough to drop him.

I fucking hate that I’m even thinking of this shit.

I can’t do it today. Just the thought of it makes me nauseous.

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