Page 108 of Crave

Sofia looks amazing so soon after having her baby.

What’s my excuse?

I have this flabby layer on my hips. Floppy skin under my arms.

Is that a double chin?

Tears well in my eyes as I inspect myself.

My reflection is awful. Do I always look like this?

I back up until my legs hit the rails of the bed and collapse backwards. The ceiling blurs as the droplets smear down my cheeks.

This isn’t fair. I try so hard just to be hideous.

How can Alexei want me? I’m not good enough for him.

He’s always been there for me. Am I the one taking advantage of our friendship?

“Lara? Have you seen my—” He stops at the doorway of my room as I sit up quickly, wiping the tears streaking my face.

Before my hand leaves my skin, he’s on me.

Leaping onto the bed, he pins me against the mattress, arms and knees straddling me.

“What’s wrong?” His nose almost touches mine. “You were fine just a few minutes ago, what happened?”

There’s some things I just can’t put into words.

“Nothing. I’m having a hormonal moment.” I let my eyes close. I don’t think I can watch him when I lie to him.

“Lara, I know better.” His thumbs rub lightly over my lids before he forces them open to see his grinning face. “There’s my girl. Come on, let’s get up. Enzo needs us at the club. Top secret super spy stuff.” He flashes his silver tooth before bouncing off of me.

His rough palms tug at my wrists and he pulls me until I’m sitting.

“You can just go without me.” I don’t feel like being around people today.

Alexei clenches his jaw as he stares at me. “Lara, I don’t go anywhere without you if I can help it. You’re my person.”

Even when I’m hardest on myself, he’s there to do his best to guide me out of that darkness.

I hope that never changes.

“What do you think he wants?” I follow close, letting Alexei tug me along with him.

He shrugs. “Enzo always works in mystery. A fog of intrigue. In the shadows of darkness.”

I giggle and tug down my tight skirt.

Alexei had insisted I looked amazing in it, but my nervousness is getting the better of me.

“Where did you get those lines from? They sound like tags from a mystery movie.”

“I like those old black and white ones. You know, from when we were kids and that’s all that would play from America?” He smiles before we reach the main doors.

I’m nervous about being in public with him. It’s like a million eyes are watching us now that we are more than friends.

I still haven’t told my brothers. The thought makes my stomach twist into knots.

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