Page 166 of Crave

Two halves that fit together perfectly.

Both imperfect, yet together, we make a whole.

Maybe it isn’t all about being perfect.

“We can be a little bit broken together?” I finish the sentence for him.

He nods and smiles at me.

As he leans over me, I suck in a breath. I’ve been waiting for this moment for what feels like a lifetime.

“One kiss won’t ruin everything, right?” He smirks, rubbing his nose softly against mine.

“No, handsome. It’s going to fix us, the only way we know how.”

Waking up from a nap, I dreamt of the cabin. Of cuddling up to Alexei by the lake. Just silencing the world for a while.

I always ran there to avoid everyone. Except I’ve realized that home isn't a place, not for me.

It’s a person. It’s Alexei.

“I’d like to go to the cabin, if that’s okay?”

He bows his head with a frown.

And then it hits me. He thinks I don’t need him right now.

“I’d like you to come with me.”

He strokes the front of my hand with his thumb.

“You think I’m ever leaving your side again, do you? Huh?”

That wide grin emerges on his lips and I can’t help but smile too.

This is what I need. Space from the world but not from my person.

I need him with me.

I know that with Alexei, I can conquer anything in my path and this battle with bulimia is one I have to fight now.

No more hiding. I can’t keep hurting the people I love. I can’t keep hurting myself anymore.

I will do anything to take back control of my life, even if it is small steps every day.

I never want to see tears fall from his eyes because of me.

“I won’t let you leave me. You’re mine, Alexei.”

He brings my hand up to his mouth and presses a kiss to my knuckles.

“You’ve been the sole keeper of my heart since the moment I laid eyes on you. That will never change. We will get you through this, pchelka. I promise.”

He leans over and brushes my cheek.

“Because I simply cannot lose you. My world stops spinning when you aren’t there. My fire goes out. I will love you through the hard times, I’ll fight for you when you’re too exhausted to fight for yourself. I’ll take care of you when you need it. I’ll do anything in my power to keep you smiling, because that is what I live for Lara. You. Us. No matter what, it will always be us against whatever battle we come across.”

I choke on a sob. Those are the kindest, most beautiful words anyone has ever said to me.

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