Page 49 of Stuck in Paradise with You

‘Everything okay, Luke? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.’ One of the secretaries – not mine – presses a hand to my shoulder as she walks by. She doesn’t wait for my answer.

I don’t think I could answer. I’m numb. Mindless. Stupefied.

Someone else passes me, our arms colliding as I turn back in the direction of my office, then back toward the exit and Carrie.

God, Carrie. What is she going to think? She’s in a hotel room waiting for me and?—

‘Luke, we need a word.’ I look up to Christopher Oakes, partner and head of the entire tax division for the firm. Through the window into his office, I see two other partners and the HR director inside.

To say this doesn’t look good is an understatement.

I follow Matt inside.

‘Take a seat, Luke.’

I do because I don’t have a choice and because my entire world is spinning double time. I’m dizzy, and taking a seat is better than falling on my face.

None of the others say hello and I already know what’s happening. My mushed-up brain is still capable of processing the enormity of the situation, so I’m not surprised when Matt takes a seat behind his desk and tells me, ‘We’ve heard a rumor that you’ve been having an inappropriate relationship with your associate.’ He looks as disappointed in me as he does critical. ‘Is it true?’

I don’t make it to Carrie in our hotel.

I tell myself I’m doing it to save her career.

I think maybe I also can’t bear the thought of telling her that Anya is having my baby, that I’ve quit the firm, that I have catastrophically fucked everything up. That I can’t see any other option than for she and I to be… done.

Present Day

The door to Carrie’s pod is open and she’s inside, packing her luggage on top of the bed.

I tap a knuckle on the door. She isn’t startled. In fact, the smooth way she turns to look at me across her shoulder tells me she expected me to come.

She turns back to her luggage, needlessly rearranging things she’s already packed to avoid looking at me.

‘How’s the leg?’ she asks.

‘My leg?’What is she talking ab—‘Oh. It’s fine. Some blistering. I might have overreacted in the moment.’

‘I’m sorry. The jellyfish was an unintended consequence.’

‘I’m not here to get into the jellyfish incident,’ I say, though I do have plenty to say about it.

She inhales so deeply, even by the door, I hear it.

I take a tentative step forward.

She eventually turns to face me and rises to full height, folding her arms across her like a shield. ‘Why are you here?’

‘I have to know before you leave…’ I hear uncertainty in my voice – as much as I feel. ‘Why did you ghost me? Why did you cut me out of your life completely?’

Her eyes rise to meet mine. For a second, I think she won’t answer.

‘I need to know,’ I tell her, almost pleading.

Eventually, she speaks. ‘You broke my heart, Luke, and I couldn’t stand the thought of watching your relationship with your family through social media.’ She tugs her lip between her teeth and shakes her head, killing our connection. She raises her hands from her sides, as if to ask,What do you want from me?Then she says, ‘I did it to protect myself. You went back to someone you told me you didn’t love. What did that say about your feelings for me?’

The first thing that hits me is the way her body seems to deflate with her words, as if holding them inside had been holding her up and now, she’s… making me question myself, making me second guess the narrative I thought I knew.

‘But you left us with no chance of ever coming back or, I don’t know, being friends, even. I still— I still wanted you in my life, I just hadn’t figured out how to make that happen. By the time I did?—’

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