Page 40 of Stuck in Paradise with You

Yes, actually, I am. All grace, all poise. I lift my hands above my head, suck in my tummy, stick out my butt, bend my knees slightly and?—

‘Or are you too scared to commit?’

Me?

What the actual fuuuuuuuuck…?

Oh God,the pain hits my torso like a truck has been dropped on my stomach as I slap, tummy first, off the concrete ocean.

Shitake, shitake, shitake.

That absolutely effing killed.

That dick.

That smarmy…

I surface from my blunder, trying to wear it well and pretend that my entire upper body is not in agony, only to find Luke near peeing his board shorts, he’s guffawing so loudly. His hands are on his knees and he’s folded forward.

‘Are you okay?’ Henry asks, clearly fighting his own amusement.

Damn it,I thought he was in my corner. Now the only guy to flirt with me since, like, 1993 is mocking me too.

‘Totally. Why wouldn’t I be?’

I can barely breathe. It. Hurts. So. Bad.

I take deep breaths, my back to the boat and the others already in the sea, treading water that I can appreciate is gorgeously warm as the pain of my belly flop begins to recede.

When eventually I start to feel more human than peanut brittle that just got whacked by a sledgehammer, I turn back around to face the catamaran, where Luke is standing on the edge of the dive board, bouncing gently. Then, arms up, torso pulled delectably taut, he propels himself into the air,summersaults, knees tucked to his chest, then straightens and dives like a bird after fish into the ocean, barely making a splash.

‘What an absolute di—’ Suddenly a rubber ring with a contented child and its mummy are at my side. ‘—plodocus.’

Ella laughs. ‘Don’t worry, Sanza isn’t properly talking yet.’

I put a hand across my mouth. ‘Sorry. I know you guys are close. I don’t mean to…’

Well, actually I do mean to badmouth Luke, I just wouldn’t have done it in front of Ella, in an ideal world, where belly flops and insanely egotistical men don’t exist.

‘We are. He’s like the sibling I never wanted, though.’ She chuckles warmly. ‘He’s spent a lot of time out here with us, especially when…’ She looks at me in a way that makes me feel like she’s considering her next words. ‘He’s had low times.’

I wonder if she means after he got divorced. It makes sense now how he and Alisha would have met. I wonder how long they’ve been together. They seem to play off each other, as if they’ve known each other forever. If I didn’t hate Luke, maybe I’d even think their banter is sweet.

The conversation also reminds me that I did once – through other connections – see that Luke was working in the Caribbean for a while, in one of the big accountancy firms that has offices out here. Not that I wanted to see that information, and I tried my best not to, but that would have meant disconnecting from most people in the Finance world on LinkedIn.

‘Show me two siblings who don’t also think the other one is a diplodocus sometimes,’ Ella adds.

I’m still laughing with her when Luke front crawls past us, fleetingly throwing me a wink that, in turn, makes me want to throw up in my mouth.

When he gets to Alisha, he pops up on her shoulders and dunks her under water and I think maybe that belly flop hasdone lasting damage to my insides because they really feel tightly knotted, twisted and contorted.

I spend the next hour swimming, snorkeling, feeling like an idiot for not being able to drive a sea scooter and hold my breath underwater at the same time, and dipping in and out of conversations with the others. Oh, and ending up in a splashing war with Noah and Toby, who only relent when Luke – much to my annoyance – saves me by sending them both a tidal wave.

There are moments when I forget I’m here for work, that there’s a huge storm brewing and very possibly heading our way in forty-eight hours, and that I’m not part of this group. It feelsniceto feel part of something more.

I’ve never had loads of friends. Growing up, I never felt like people got me. Until Luke. It was as if every corner of me somehow fit his sphere when we spoke. The allure of him was more than looks or chemistry; it was something I couldn’t place, and less resist. Then it was gone and I was a square in a round world again.

If only Callum and Eddie could be here and I weren’t trapped in paradise with the man I despise more than anyone else on the entire planet.

---