Page 94 of Stuck in Paradise with You

‘In your nitpicky opinion.’

‘Said by a woman who refuses to try olives.’

She slurps her drink then swallows. ‘Actually, also not true. I have tried black olives on pizza and Callum made me try one of those big green ones in a dirty martini.’

‘And?’

‘Awful. Disgusting. Wouldn’t feed them to Eddie.’

I laugh so loudly, I think I startle her, because she pauses – dragon fruit mid-air – then lowers her head shyly. ‘I like that I can still do that,’ she says. She must register my perplexity because she adds, ‘Make you laugh like that.’

I’m staring at her, and she’s staring at me, and all I can think is how badly I want to reach over and kiss her lips. How badly I’d like every weekend morning to start like this. Us in bed together, laughing, joking, eating, with no place to go, no one to please. How I’d touch her and she’d touch me and eventually the bedsheet would go, then our clothes would?—

I jump, literally jump, from the bed and head to the bathroom. ‘That coffee’s a strong antidiuretic,’ I say, running off to hide and chill out before I blow this whole friendship thing.

We’re loading a boat with water and other aid – Carrie, Roy, Henry, Jenny, Monique, Dave, Glen and me – ready to head to Virgin Gorda to see what help we can be over there. Not knowing what state the island will be in when we arrive. We’re all set when Joe jogs down to the dock of the boat house.

‘We’ve got service and Wi-Fi back up and running,’ he says, one foot on the dock, the other on the boat.

He seeks out Carrie and the way my internal organs seem to fall through the boat, to the bottom of the ocean, and continue going, tells me I know what’s coming.

‘The airport in Tortola hasn’t reopened yet, Carrie, but I can get you on a helicopter this afternoon from here to Puerto Rico, then a flight back to New York tonight.’

‘You can?’ Carrie’s response is relieved, excited even, and, though it shouldn’t, it kills me to hear it.

She has to leave at some point. On Monday, when she arrived, I’d have been ready to dance on the runway behind her plane as she left. But things changed. Something beyond my control. Now, the idea of her leaving is gutting.

She glances my way and, though she’s wearing shades, I wonder what she’s looking for.

‘I— That’s… great, thanks so much, Joe. I— Ah, really appreciate it.’ I hear it in her voice. She’s conflicted.

It’s a small win; maybe I’m just wanting to hear something, but it still gives me hope. I think, through my disappointment, I smile at her. Reassure her it’s a good thing. Or try, at least.

‘It’s the least I can do,’ Joe says. ‘If anyone else wants to go, there’ll be three spare seats.’ He looks at me. ‘Luke?’

I could go with her. Back to New York.Then what?There’s no guarantee of something between us. Besides that, Joe and his family need me here and they’ve been there for me when I’ve really needed them. So, while I’m conflicted, too – heavily so – I shake my head. ‘I’ll stay a few more days and help out as much as I can.’

‘I’m happy to stay, too, of course,’ Carrie says.

‘I wasn’t suggesting you should, Carrie,’ I tell her. ‘My work, my friends, half my life is here. You need to get home to see your friends and family. To see Eddie. To work. You—’ My voice breaks, forcing me to cough. ‘You should go.’

Joe shifts his focus back and forth between the two of us. ‘Settled then. Yes?’

Carrie gives him a nod with little conviction. But it’s affirmative.

She’s going.

Back to her life where I don’t exist to her.

‘I’d still like to come to the island with you all and help for as long as I can today,’ Carrie says. ‘Is that feasible?’

‘Absolutely,’ Joe says, hopping onto the boat. ‘We’ll come back in time for the chopper.’

I check my watch. I might have four or five hours left to convince her that…

What? That I can be a friend with no funny business? That she should want my companionship in her life?

That I’m the guy for her.I’ve changed. I’ve learnt. I see my mistakes and I know that if I don’t make her mine, I’ll spend every day for the rest of my life regretting it.

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