Page 10 of Fake It 'til You Make It

‘Thanks. And Mel, the fact I’m in New York is strictly confidential. By that I mean between you and me. I don’t want anyone to know. Not Fleur, not Roman, okay?’

There’s silence on the line and I sense she’s switching from business associate mode to friend mode. ‘My lips are sealed.’

We say goodbye but before either of us hangs up, she asks, ‘Ted, are you okay?’

Am I okay?I feel like I’m hurtling into outer space without gravity or thrusters with no clue how to get back to the world as I knew it just days ago.

‘I’m good.’

Ending the call and back in the silence of the apartment, I wince at the mess I’ve made of Mike’s plastered wall. I feel exactly the way that wall looks: like there’s a big hole missing from it. Now, to add insult to injury, I need to prepare for my interview withGQ. I need to do the last thing on earth I like to do. I need to go shopping for something other than shorts, T-shirts and sneakers.

5

ABBEY

I’d rather walk anywhere in the city than take the subway but Brooklyn Heights to Bloomingdale’s, where I am meeting Dee and Shernette this morning, is a trek. I’ve compromised, taking transport from Court Street station to Union Square, and I’m walking the rest of the way.

The fresh air and takeout coffee en route have been beneficial. When I woke this morning, after listening to the relentless banging from upstairs into the early hours, again, I felt grouchy as heck.

To top that off, I was playing the radio as I got dressed and what came on? Only Jack Johnson’s ‘Better Together’. It’s as if the universe is trying to keep Andrew front and center of my thoughts all the damn time.

‘Better Together’ was one ofoursongs. Not that we had asongexpressly but it always reminded me of drives we took back home around Banff National Park, even road trips to British Columbia. I would have preferred to hike together but Andrew was always happier in a gym than outdoors, so we would take scenic drivesinstead. I’d take climbing the Rockies over a claustrophobic, sweat-filled gym any day.

I replace the lid on my now empty coffee mug and pop it into my satchel. Just as I hold my hand across a ginormous yawn, I see Dee and Shernette waving at me from the entrance to Bloomingdale’s.

Dee cups her hands either side of her mouth, making a human foghorn, and calls, ‘Are you ready for shoppiiiiiiiiiing?’

Horrified, I glance around me. Unbelievably, every passerby is just going about their business, heading to work, shopping, drinking caffeine on the move. Good old Manhattan – I could have been struck by lightning right here in the middle of the sidewalk and no one would notice. Back home, getting dumped by your long-term boyfriend is the business of everyone from your mother to the distant cousin of the owner of the local store whom you see semi-annually.

I make my way over to my sister and best friend.

‘I’m ready if you promise never to do that again.’

Dee scrutinizes my baggy dungarees and foot-fitting sandals. ‘I’m glad to see you came dressed for the occasion.’

Scowling at my sister, I hug Shernette. ‘Thankyoufor taking a Monday off work. The thought of shopping on the weekends is enough to give me hives.’

‘I wouldn’t have missed it. The chance to help makeover my bestie and blow copious amounts of cash? Hell yes, I’m in.’

I smile at Shernette, then point at my sister. ‘You don’t get a hug.’ Then I gently stroke her tummy and say sweetly, ‘You do, my gorgeous little nephew.’

‘We don’t know what the sex is, yet.’

‘Given girls are born in times of stress and there isn’t a stressed bone in your horizontal body, it has to be a boy.’

Dee’s eyes visibly brighten. She places her hands on her non-existent bump and glances down. ‘A boy, huh?’

Shernette gives me a look that says:your parents are going to flip.

She’s dead right.

‘And on that note, shall we get this torture started?’ I ask.

We head inside the store. As I hold open the door for Dee, she tells me, ‘Speaking of chilled out people, we have dinner plans with the very antithesis of chilled out on Thursday evening. Meredith is going to book somewhere and send the details.’

Meredith, Nate’s wife. It means dinner will be somewhere flashy but since Big Brother will be paying, who cares?

Due to the constant stream of tourists, Bloomingdale’s is still busier than I’d like but given it’s a work day, it isn’t heaving. As we step onto the renowned black and white check tiled floor, I inhale the scent of fresh leather from the wealth of designer handbags, mixed with the hundreds of expensive eaux de parfum.

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