Page 50 of Fake It 'til You Make It

The perks were: getting to see my sister in action (she’s as fabulous as I’ve ever seen her on screen), getting paid seventy-five bucks for the second day in a row, agreeing to act as a paid runner-cum-flexible extra for the next week, and toning my butt with all the vampy jumping.

Given my early rise, I’d finished my day’s work early enough to come home, change, stroll the promenade with a coffee in hand, update my resume and search for jobs. The coffee and walkwere wonderful. The search, however, proved fruitless. I found nothing that I would be qualified for or confident enough to apply for.

Perhaps that’s karma telling me,Be careful what you wish for. I am now employed as an actress, in a bizarre twist of fate, and it’s only a matter of time until I’m found out and booted off set, embarrassing my sister horribly in the process.

I’m at home, making pasta for one, when my mom calls. I slip a garlic flatbread in to cook and bring my cell phone to the sofa.

‘Hi Mom.’

‘Hello, Abigail. How are you?’

Her tone tells me instantly that she’s still, more than four weeks on from that fateful day, angry, or worse, disappointed, that I lost both my suitor and my stable job.

‘Good, actually, thanks, Mom. A little tired?—’

‘This party has done what my parties tend to do.’ She titters and I can visualize her holding a hand to her chest as if she’s going to explode because the joke’s so funny. ‘It’s grown much bigger than I ever intended.’

ThanDadever intended, she means. Mom loves a huge bash.

‘And, well, since you’re unemployed and single, I thought you might be able to come home and give a helping hand.’

Help Mom throw a party? She’s never once asked me if I can?—

‘Is this some kind of plot to get me near Andrew’s family and friends? Is Andrew going to be home? Because, Mom, if you’re trying to lure us back together, it’s not?—’

‘Oh, darling.’ She chuckles again, high-pitched, like she’s been caught in the act. ‘Do you always have to be so severe? I thought it would be nice to spend some mother and daughter time together. I’m sure, as a consequence, you could catch up with family friends but that isn’t a motivating factor.’

I hear a voice call out in the background, then Mom say, ‘The groceries have arrived, darling, I have to go. Will you come?’

I sigh. We both know I always give in to Mom, whether I have obligations or not, because… she’s my mom and I love her, despite the absolute pain in the ass she can be at times. ‘When?’

‘As soon as possible, darling.’ I can tell she’s shoved the phone between her ear and cheek, her voice sort of muffled. Then I hear her whisper-talk, presumably to the delivery driver.

‘I can’t come for another week because I’m working,’ I tell her.

I genuinely wouldn’t want to let down the crew my sister is working with but more than that, I’m bringing my new pro-athlete boyfriend. I’m fairly certain he won’t extend his generosity as far as two weeks in my home town and, even if he would, we have far too much homework to do on each other before we go.

‘Youareworking? Oh sweetheart, that’s fantastic news.’

Hmm. ‘Yeah, it’s great fun. I’m working as an extra on Dee’s new gig.’

‘Acting?’ Her tone shifts to hysterical in a nano-second. ‘Acting?’

‘Err, yeah.’

‘But you can’t act!’ Her words are shrill. I imagine her thumping a hand onto her hip.

I chuckle, perhaps nervously, maybe because I know she’s right. Or it could be because this is a trial, the first person other than Andrew whom I’ve lied to, and it isn’t going well.

‘I don’t make a bad vampire, actually,’ I tell her.

‘Abigail Mitchell, do not antagonize me. I’ve seen you play the roles of a donkey’s ass and a star in your school plays. A donkey’s ass!’

I have to cover my mouth with my hand to stop my laughter from bellowing out.

‘Never mind the party, you need to come home where I canscrew your head back on, young lady. All the money we’ve spent on your education!’

‘Oh Mom, stop being so dramatic.’ I’m silently sniggering. Dee and I do enjoy winding Mom up from time to time. ‘Dee is an actress and you don’t tell her she has to come home.’

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