Page 97 of Fake It 'til You Make It

But I can’t resist one last opportunity to kiss Mike before the day closes out. To try to figure out from his touch where his head is at.

He’s touched me whilst we’ve been here in Canada because he’s my fake boyfriend, but it hasn’t felt anything like it has been between us today. Today felt real, at least to me.

Whilst the others wish each other sweet dreams, Mike stands.On tiptoes, I hold his cheeks in my palms and lean in to kiss him again.

His lips meet mine briefly. Chastely.

Our day is done and I’m… devastated.

But as I walk away, he grabs my hand, tugs me back to him and kisses me in a way that turns my devastation into elation.

Maybe. Just maybe.

45

TED

‘You were right, I’m in so much trouble here,’ I tell Mike through my phone.

I’m sitting on a bench on the lawn out back of Abbey’s parents’ house. Over the course of the morning, the lawn has been transformed into an aisle and guest seating for the vow renewals. Anna has gone all out with flower arrangements and bows tied around chairs. It looks like a first, big white wedding, rather than a renewal of vows. But hats off to her, a marriage as long as hers and Terry’s deserves to be celebrated.

There’s also a giant gazebo, with round tables underneath that are decorated with flowers that match the ceremony area.

A stage has been erected on which a swing quartet is currently setting up. Two men are almost through hanging lights from every tree and hedge around the lawn for this evening.

I’m already in my suit, having spent the morning filling time, making hot drinks and taking breakfast on trays to leave outside the room where Anna, Abbey, Dee and Shernette are getting ready. I took the kayaks from yesterday off the roof rack of the SUV and put them back in the garage. Then I took a walk nearbyin a bid to clear my head and stop thinking about the voice inside me that’s saying…

‘I haven’t felt like this about someone since… I’ve never felt like this aboutanyone, Mike.’

It’s like there’s been a cosmic shift and the relationship Abbey and I thought we were here to perform has turned into something fundamentally different. Bigger. Real.

Yet all day long, people have been calling me Mike. And I’ve tried to tell her the truth, I have. I intend to. But every time, I get cut off or caught out.

‘But now her ex wants her back and she said there was nothing in it, but she also never told me she’d seen him and I can’t stop myself wondering, what if she wants him back, too? Or am I overthinking it? I can hardly call her out for withholding the truth.’

‘Oh man, you really are in trouble. I told you this trip was a bad idea.’

He’s right. In the main, it’s an absolute disaster. I’m a mess. Though…

‘It’s done some good. I’m sitting here looking at essentially a wedding being set up and I’m thinking I had a narrow escape. I can see how wrong Fleur and I are for each other. This could have been me getting married to the very wrong woman. So if there’s a silver lining to what she and Roman have done, it’s that she’s saved me a divorce.’

‘Well, that is good. Great that you’re finally seeing what everyone else could see,’ Mike says. He’s also outside, walking his dog, a Staffie called Ruth, after the infamous Babe.

‘How about you drop the whole “I told you so” routine and help me out here?’

‘I don’t know what you want me to tell you, little bro. Thetiming is godawful. Equally, I’ve never heard you talk about anyone the way you talk about this chick.’

‘Please don’t call her a chick.’

‘See? That’s what I’m saying.’

‘You’re useless. Be more big brother.’

He sighs. ‘Man, I’ve never been in love, what would I know? But are you sure this isn’t just a rebound thing? Or getting your own back on Fleur?’

‘Love? I’m not in love with her.’Am I?I stand from the seat, unable to sit any longer, and drag a hand through my hair, staring up at the window of the room I know Abbey is getting dressed in.

Maybe, if I could just see her, everything would make more sense. ‘I’m pretty sure this isn’t a rebound thing. I literally felt like… I don’t know, like the earth shifted or something yesterday. When I kiss her, it’s like?—’

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