Page 89 of Fake It 'til You Make It

Afraid of what I might say to her mom if I hang around downstairs, and wanting to make sure Abbey is okay, I follow her upstairs and find her face down on her bed, her head in her pillows, shouting into the soft stuffing to muffle the sound.

I quietly pad into the room, closing the door behind me, and sit on the edge of the bed next to her.

‘Was it that bad?’ I ask.

I reach out and rub her back, which she seems to accept. She wants someone to comfort her but I know her well enough to know she won’t ask.

‘Imagine the worst day of your life, multiply it by infinity, andyou’ll come close to half as bad as that lunch was,’ she says, mumbling, but audible, into her bedding.

I chuckle. Not at the situation but at the ridiculousness of her statement. It’s not like Abbey to be dramatic… ‘Worse than the day Trump was elected?’

She rolls onto her back, bringing a pillow with her and holding it to her chest for comfort. ‘At least when Trump was elected I always had the option of bailing to Canada.’

I scoff. ‘True enough. Why didn’t you just tell them to stick lunch and leave?’

She sighs. ‘I couldn’t just leave. Plus, the thing I hate most about what Andrew did to me was his cowardliness. If I just left, ran away, wouldn’t I be just the same?’

Her words strike an immediate chord. ‘Like me, you mean?’

She springs up to sit. ‘Gosh, no, I didn’t mean that. It’s not the same. You would have had media attention to contend with and?—’

‘It’s okay. You’re right. I’ve been thinking it myself. It’s time to go and face the music at home.’

Her silence speaks volumes. She agrees.

‘So, do you want to dissect the lunch and tell me the finer details of your demise, or would you like me to tell you something interesting, maybe even quite cool?’

She pulls a face like an actress might pull for a theatre to show she’s weighing up the options. ‘Cool like the first man on the moon? Or like my own peanut-butter-making machine with an endless supply of nuts in my bedroom?’

I shake my head. ‘You’re such a freak.’

She smiles. Finally. ‘Pot calling the kettle black, my friend. Go on then, tell me something really cool.’

I tell her about my call with my accountants and Matt’s offer to speak with her about a job.

I’m met by a blank expression. Maybe I’ve got this all wrong. Maybe she’s more into acting than I’ve appreciated and possibly I let myself think she might not be because that would make her more accessible, more like someone I wouldn’t be as afraid to start a relationship with.

‘Mike… I need to tell you something.’

I still at the severity of her tone. What this time?

‘I’m not really an actress. I mean, I am. Kind of.’ She shakes her head, eyes to the ceiling, though I’m not following why she seems so exasperated. ‘When I needed a date for my parents’ party, Shernette and Dee set me up a Tinder profile and, given I was actually unemployed and, let’s face it, had a fairly dull job by most people’s standards, they set me up as an actress.’

Huh. ‘That’s not what I was expecting.’

She exhales heavily, like a weight has been lifted from her. ‘Then you made the assumption, understandably, that I was an actress and, well, I figured you wouldn’t want to even fake date an auditor. Not when you’re…’ She gestures from my head to my toes. ‘You. So I let you believe it.’

She lied.

‘But I also didn’t want to lie. So I asked Dee to get me a job on her set and she did. I was acting, just as an extra.’

So much slots into place with her words. So much doesn’t. ‘What about your apartment? How can you…?’

‘Afford it as an unemployed auditor?’ She sighs. ‘I blew my entire wedding fund on six months’ rent in a bid to fake it until I could make it. Except, I’m not sure what I’m trying to fake anymore. Then you’ve just told me something the old me would have been ecstatic and nervous about in equal measure and… I don’t want to mislead you anymore, Mike. I’m really sorry, and if you don’t want to go through with this whole façade anymore, I… I get it. But I’m really hoping you’ll stay.’

She’s been lying to me.

But she just shared the truth and it would be the perfect opportunity for me to do the same.

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