Page 84 of Fake It 'til You Make It

There aren’t words to describe how much I want him.

Not the version of himself he’s playing for other people.

Him.

My feet inch forward and my hands leave my sides, aching to touch him as I remember his body the night he stood in just atowel on the mezzanine level of his apartment. Unexpectedly lean. Firm. Extremely desirable.

I think he shifts toward me, or maybe I imagine he does because I want him to. More than that, I want him to want me. I’m suddenly very aware of the fit of my clothes on my body and what’s beneath them.

But he was just in a relationship with a model. Might still be. And what she had to offer beneath her clothes would have been ten times anything I ever could. Men like Mike don’t go for girls like me and even if he might, he thinks I’m an actress, which might not strictly be a lie, but it sure feels increasingly uncomfortable.

I blink, my eyelids closing for longer than usual.

‘I can’t stay in here with you, Abbey,’ Mike croaks.

I get it. I do. Everything I just thought, he already knows – career path aside.

‘Not because I don’t want to but because I’m not sure I trust myself around you, and the timing, us, this, everything, it’s just all…’

I open my eyes. ‘A lot?’

He inhales deeply and nods. ‘A lot.’

I think I manage to smile; I’m not convinced but I want him to know it’s okay, I agree, he’s making the right move for both of us. ‘At least stay in the guest room. We’ll tell Mom you’re traditional. She’ll love you for it.’

‘You mean she’d actually like something about me?’

I do smile now. ‘I’m sure she likes you… just not as much as Andrew.’

Mike shakes his head. ‘You should tell them the truth about him.’

‘And explode a can of worms? I’m here for a week, then this will all be over – no need to create a drama.’

‘Are you sure that’s the only reason?’ he asks. He doesn’t wait for my answer, leaning in to kiss me on the cheek, holding his lips to my skin longer than necessary and inhaling as he does.

I lean my cheek against his as I breathe in his scent. ‘Go,’ I whisper.

Go before I add another mistake to my ever-growing list.

36

TED

That was a near miss.A lotdefinitely describes what’s going on here in Canada and what’s happening in my head.

I’m in turmoil, pacing the floor of the guest bedroom in my boxer briefs and T-shirt, desperately wanting to find out what would happen if I did spend the night in Abbey’s bed. Knowing I can’t.

It wouldn’t be right. Or fair. She thinks I’m someone I’m not.

ButGod, I’m being pulled in her direction by some kind of invisible force. And I?—

Stuff it.

I leave the bedroom and head back along the corridor to Abbey’s room. There’s soft lighting shining through the crack under the door. She’s still awake.

I raise my fist to knock on the door.

This is it.

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