Page 42 of Fake It 'til You Make It

‘You have a day date?’ he asks, turning to face me and dropping a beer bottle into his recycling bag.

‘No,’ I say, wounded because I know he’s thinking a day date is a safe, probably not interested kind of date. ‘It’s an evening date but I— I’ve never actually been on a date and I want to be prepared.’

‘What, ever?’ He’s mocking me.

‘Is that so shocking?’

‘I just— How is that possible?’

‘Are you joking right now? I’m here to help you. You don’t even know me and you’re practically calling me undatable?’

‘No, that’s not what I?—’

‘Just because I’m not some kind of man whore.’

‘Man whore? Me?’

‘Gargh, can wejustget this over and done with so we can go our separate ways and I don’t have to see you anymore?’

‘Abbey, look?—’

‘Ever. Period. Stop. Talking.’

16

ABBEY

I’m almost dressed for my first ever date tonight. I’m meeting the guy, Adam, in a small cocktail hang out in Williamsburg. Apparently it serves great cocktails but not in a pretentious way and it’s perfect for a first or early date.

I literally googled the best spots in Brooklyn for a first date. I don’t want to be too far from home in case the evening is an absolute car crash.

I have no idea what to expect. For all I know, my date could be fake as heck. A catfish. An axe murderer. I wouldn’t have a clue.

Though I do recognize the irony here;Iam being fake. He thinks I’m an actress. The last time I acted in anything, I was playing the role of a star in a school nativity play. Astar. I didn’t even have a line; I just had to hold out my arms and twinkle my fingers above a stable.

And I’m a truly awful liar.

Oh God, this is going to be horrendous.

Grabbing my phone from my bedside table, I call Dee.

‘Hey, it’s me again,’ I say, bending to buckle the strap of my stiletto shoe. ‘Two things: first, are you sure about this outfit? Ifeel like Lily Collins could probably pull off a miniskirt and T-shirt but I look kind of mismatched, like dressy on the bottom and going to a gym class on the top.’

‘It’s called trendy, Abbey. The bottom half says date and the top half says you’re playing it cool. The perfect match.’

Shoes strapped, I stand and look into my mirrored wardrobes, checking the time on my watch as I do.I’ve got to go!I consider the outfit again and it doesn’t really matter what I think of it now because I’m out of time.

Grabbing my keys and throwing them into my purse, I leave the apartment, Dee still on the phone between my ear and shoulder.

‘You didn’t tell me how your clean-up went with 8B this morning,’ she says.

‘Awful. Worse than awful. The place was a state. His friends are gross. Andhespent most of his time on the phone to his brother and drinking coffee.’

‘Awful? You hang out one-on-one with the hottest guy you’ve ever lived beneath and it wasawful?’

That’s hardly a ringing endorsement since I’ve only lived beneath an old man with too many cats and before that, tequila-obsessed students.

‘It’s such a shame that his personality doesn’t match his face in that case.’

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