Page 107 of Fake It 'til You Make It

Mom comes to sit on the bed next to me, fluffing my pillows behind her back first.

‘I’m so sorry I ruined your day yesterday,’ I say, my tears coming back to my throat and burning my eyes. ‘I’m so ashamed of it all. Lying to you, the way it all unfolded. Generally messing up everything so badly.’

‘Don’t be silly; the added drama will mean our party is talked about for years to come.’

We laugh together because we both know it’s true.

‘You know, that’s exactly why I lied about Ted in the first place. I mean, him being Mike wasn’t my doing but bringing himhere as my boyfriend was supposed to stop any drama about Andrew and I getting back together and stop the truth from coming out and embarrassing me. I just wasn’t enough for him and I think everyone has thought as much since the day we got together.’

Mom turns to face me. ‘Now you listen to me, young lady. What he did to you is despicable and it’s entirely a reflection of his bad character. I’m only sorry that I didn’t see this a long time ago. I would never have wanted you to settle for someone so unworthy of you.Youare enough. And I spent an entire ride to the airport this morning with a charming man who thinks that you’re more than enough for him.’

I blow out hard. ‘Another thing I’ve messed up. We can’t go back from here. He lied to me about who he is and he’s only just broken up with a woman he was engaged to. I mean, it’s not even public knowledge yet. Not to mention the fact he lives in San Francisco and I live— That’s probably another thing I should own up to…’

I tell her everything. From my dinner with Andrew when I came back from Texas to his admission of sleeping with someone else. From quitting my job and blowing my wedding savings on a swanky apartment. Getting the acting job on Dee’s TV series out of necessity and keeping the superficiality of it from Ted. From meeting Ted and how obnoxious I thought he was at first to somehow ending up in a fake relationship.

‘Ironically, the only person who fell for the lie was me, Mom.’

‘Oh, darling.’

‘It’s true. If there’s something good to come of it, I know definitively that I was in love with the idea of being with Andrew, someone from home, who my family loved and wanted me to be with. Someone who ticked that box on the checklist of thingsyou’ve always wanted for me – husband, career, marriage, grandchildren. But I didn’t lovehim. I know that now because I’ve felt what it’s like to truly fall for someone, the way I fell in love with Ted.’

‘Abigail.’ Mom shakes her head and I realize her eyes are full of unshed tears. ‘I hate that you thought I wanted you to fulfill a checklist more than I want you to be happy. If that’s the case, then I’ve failed you as a mother.’ She wipes a thumb under her eye and sniffs.

‘Mom, no you haven’t. You’ve been the best mom I could have ever asked for, just maybe… very vocal about your intentions and hopes for me, that’s all. I only ever wanted you to be proud of me.’

‘Abbey, I am immensely proud of you.’ She reaches for a slice of my toast and takes a bite. ‘You know, I had a career before we had you children. I had the career, the handsome, rich man. I always put my all into everything I did and when we had Nate, then you and Dee, your dad and I decided that I should be mother and housekeeper, life administrator and supporter of his growing business. I’ll never regret that decision, but maybe that’s why I wanted you all to be… perfect.’ She takes another bit of toast, shaking her head. ‘I suppose you were my projects and I could only demonstrate my worth through each of you being a success.’

‘You’re worth so much more than just being a mom.’

She smiles but it’s with sadness. ‘I’d like to think so because now it seems I’ve been failing as a mom. So, I’m the one who’s sorry, Abbey, for pushing you to be whoIwant you to be, instead of listening to whoyouwant to be.’

I exhale. ‘If only I knew who or what that was.’

‘You’re a young woman. There’s plenty of time for figuring it all out.’ She stands up. ‘Evidently, I’m still working on it. Now,there’s an awful lot of fancy food left from the buffet last night and now that your sister has come clean as to the real reason she couldn’t fit into her dress yesterday, if you don’t smarten up and get downstairs, there’ll be nothing left for you. Dee is exampling eating for two down there.’

I give a short laugh. ‘Don’t give her too hard a time, Mom.’

‘Oh, I will. But I’ll also start picking out things for the baby’s nursery. And I’d like you to help me persuade your sister to come home and have the baby here, where I can take care of them both. For now, though, I’d like to find out more about this Brett character she’s been unchristianly with.’

Now I really laugh. ‘Mom, it’s 2024.’

‘And your boyfriend just spent four nights sleeping in the spare room.’

‘Well, as you know, he wasn’t real.’

Mom walks into the ensuite and turns on my shower to preheat, then makes to leave the bedroom. ‘Wasn’t he? I saw the way he looked at you when he didn’t think anyone else was looking. I also believed every word he told me this morning when I drove him to the airport. Including the part where he told me he is absolutely, completely and insanely in love with you.’

The door closes behind her and I trudge miserably to the shower.

I step inside and close my eyes as the jets stream water across my face.

Absolutely, completely and insanely in love with you.

‘What on earth am I doing?’

Practically falling out of the shower, I grab a towel and run into my bedroom, pulling on the first clothes I can lay my hands on. Then I run downstairs.

‘I need to get to the airport,’ I announce to my family.

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