Page 91 of Reluctantly You

“Maybe it’s sleeping here with me,” I say, and he scoffs.

“No. It’s my past trauma. It has nothing to do with you. I promise.”

The words soothe an ache that was building inside of me. It wasn’t me. I wasn’t the cause of this.

“What was it?” I ask, lying down next to him, my head resting on his pillow.

He turns toward me and our eyes meet.

“With my dad’s addiction, I was exposed to some bad things…things a child should never be exposed to.”

My hands clench the sheets beneath me as he turns his gaze and stares up at the ceiling.

“This dream was about the time my dad left me at home. Alone. And someone broke in.”

“Jesus.”

“Yeah…they…well, I hid, but they found me and I was…assaulted. I’ve worked through it in therapy for years. Wasn’t the worst thing that happened to me, but it was…well, I’d like to not relive it in my dreams.”

I don’t know what to do with such vulnerable information. No one has ever trusted me with things like this, so I just reach over and cup his cheek. His gaze turns back to me, and I can see the swirl of tears in those dark eyes.

“If I ever find them, I’ll murder them.”

His lips twitch. “I love that for me.”

My hand starts to leave him, but he grabs on to it, holding it tightly.

“Thank you. For waking me up. For helping ground me in reality.”

“Sure,” I say, uncertain what to say. Our gazes lock for a long, lingering moment and then I turn away.

“I don’t want to go back to sleep. Want to just go to the gym and play a game of ball?”

“Thought I sucked at the game.”

“You do, but I’d really like a win this morning and you’re easy.”

I snort and shove at his arm gently. “I’ll have you know, I was on varsity team in high school and played in college. I’ll kick your ass this morning.”

“You’re on,” he says, turning his lips to kiss my palm and then he sits up and stretches. I watch him with hungry eyes, letting myself feel for the first time.

I want him.

That thought swirls around inside of my brain, disappearing into fumes of red smoke.

I’m not thinking about that now.

Not ever.

My mind focuses on the game we’re going to play.

I need to beat him. Just this once. I need to take something back.

I don’t win, but at least I gave him a run for his money. His chest is heaving, sweat dripping down his cheeks as he grins at me.

“Better game than last time.”

“I would have won if you hadn’t cheated.”

---