Page 118 of Reluctantly You

I press at my forehead just as the doorbell rings.

Stumbling toward it, my hands trembling, I wrench the door open and see Max and Beau there, Doggo in tow.

“Hey,” they say in tandem, Beau’s lips turned up in a grin, Max’s slightly more stiff. He doesn’t want to be here. He doesn’t want me.

My spirits spin and sink, swirling down the metaphorical drain that is my life.

“Is that the cat I hear?” Max asks, his face softening, and I nod, swallowing so loudly that they both turn to stare at me. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, it’s Little Pants.” I move to let them step inside. They turn the corner and see Gideon in the kitchen, setting out the food on the island, Little Pants still meowing loudly in his ear.

“Who’s this?” Max asks, his brows drawn together.

I don’t know what to say, have no clue how to even explain what this is. I never did decide what to say. I just stand there and swallow and swallow some more. It’s like I’m sucking dick.

Oh god, they’re gonna know I like cock.

“I’m his boss, and friend,” Gideon answers as he comes up behind me and presses a hand to my shoulder.

I stiffen when Max’s gaze slams into where Gideon’s touching me. They can’t know this too. They can’t fucking know. I shift away and his hand falls to his side.

“Oh, Gideon Masters. The one who bought dad’s company?” Max asks.

“Yeah.”

He cocks his head, and the urge to spill it all rumbles up within me. But before I can blurt out the truth, a rap on the door has me colliding with it. Matt and Coop. They’re here, their hands linked, Matt leaning tenderly into Coop’s body.

Fuck, he looks so damn happy.

Why can’t I be this happy?

You can. You can if you let yourself.

That inner voice is starting to sound disturbingly like Gideon’s.

I usher them in, Gideon making his own introduction because I can’t form words. The only thing in my throat is the truth.

I have to tell them the truth.

“Dad’s not my dad!” I shout and almost fall over from the weight that is lifted off my shoulders.

Matt and Max turn toward me, their eyebrows rising as if unsure they heard correctly. Maybe I didn’t say it clearly enough. Maybe I only said it in my head.

I don’t know what reality is anymore.

“What?” Max finally asks, and I shove my hand through my hair, feeling my eyes and nose sting. Fuck, don’t cry. Don’t fucking cry.

“He’s not my dad.”

“What the hell?” Matt asks.

“It’s the truth. He’s not my dad. Your dad, I mean. Not biological for me. We’re half-brothers.”

It’s a jumble of words and nonsense, and I don’t even know if I’m making any sense, but of course Gideon steps in, like he always does.

He always makes things better.

I fucking hate it.

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