Page 58 of Reluctantly You

“Hell no,” Shiloh says and then pokes at him. “You’re far too pretty to ever meet any of them.”

Rory grins and then turns toward Gideon. “See, Shiloh thinks I’m pretty. Why did you never think that about me, Gideon?”

“Because you’re like a brother to me,” Gideon replies, and Rory huffs, leaning a little closer to me and saying, “I had thebiggest crush on him when we first met. Not that he returned it. Said I was too young.”

“You weren’t interested in me,” Gideon replies. “Just the idea of me.”

Rory rolls his eyes and then sighs. “True. You’re quite old and terrible now.”

I peer over at Gideon and look at his soft grin. He’s not taking this personally at all. But I kind of am. Gideon isn’t at all that old or terrible-looking. In fact, he looks really…

I won’t even let myself go there. It’s bad enough that my body responds to him like a moth to a flame. That, for some reason, he’s the one making me want things. Terrible things.

My dick twitches happily in remembrance, and I shift in my chair once more, Gideon’s leg tightening on mine. He thinks I’m nervous, when in reality, I’m just aroused.

Fuck, I’m confused.

What the hell is wrong with me?

Everything. Everything is wrong with you.

The drinks are brought over and I gulp mine down, feeling slightly lightheaded from consuming the alcohol so fast.

Thankfully, the appetizers are brought over next and everyone digs in, my movements purposefully sluggish, trying not to behave like a barbarian in front of them all. It’s a wonder I’ve managed to keep my thoughts to myself, to not offend every single one of them in a matter of seconds.

Although, I’m not sure what thoughts I’m having. When I ponder it, I realize that nothing bad or negative is popping up. It’s all just…neutral, muddled shades of brown. I don’t feel strongly either way about sitting here with the three of them.

“What do you think?” Gideon asks me as I pop an olive between my lips.

“Good.”

He nods and then the three of them continue speaking. They try to include me, but I’m quiet, not quite sure how to add to the conversation. So, I spend a lot of time looking at the menu, trying to figure out what to eat, but come up short. I don’t know what I want.

It’s the dilemma of a century.

“I can order for you,” Gideon says lowly, and I peer over at him.

“Fuck off.”

His lips twitch and his leg tightens on me, pulling my chair a little closer to him. It screeches loudly, causing Shiloh and Rory to look over at us. Both of them fight back laughter as they watch us, and I feel my cheeks growing red.

Goddamn Gideon.

I’m shooting him a hateful look when my eyes catch on someone across the room.

Oh my god. Oh my fucking god.

My dad. Shit, not my dad.

He’s not my dad.

My body slumps down, and I feel my heart rate pick up. My hands start to tingle and grow damp…and fuck, I feel lightheaded.

I haven’t seen him since the day I found out about us. He hasn’t made any effort to reach out. I peek over and he’s laughing happily with a younger man, someone my age. Have I been replaced? Is that what this is?

Visions of him helping me learn to ride a bike, tucking me in, teaching me to swim flash through my mind. How could it all mean nothing? All those years? All that time?

His eyes move over to mine and then move away just as fast, and it’s almost like I don’t exist. Like I never existed to him. All these years and I meant nothing. I’m nothing.

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