Page 82 of Breathing Without You

Emerald

Guess if I’m going I’m going to get fucked up. WOO HOO WE’RE GETTING FUCKED UP BITCHHHH!!!!

Chastity

That’s my girl. They always have the best drinks there so you’ll definitely get drunk.

Emerald

Good, I’m about to go in and take a bath. I’ll text you later.

Chastity

Hang in there babe. I’m here if you need me. Love you.

Emerald

Love you babe.

I love that she didn’t push me to tell her and that even though she has no idea what’s going on she’ll still be here if I need her. That’s one thing about Chastity, she always listens no matter what the situation is, and she doesn’t pry, she waits for you to be ready and if you don’t ever bring it up, she still doesn’t try to pry it out of you.

Right as I stand up to head inside Creedence’s truck pulls up into his driveway.

“Can this fucking day get any fucking worse,” I mumble to myself as I rush up my porch stairs, so he doesn’t try to talk to me again. I think I’m in the angry stage of the breakup now, at least right at this moment I am, along with still being heartbroken but instead of heartbroken and sad I’m now heartbroken and fucking angry. I can’t believe he just threw us away like that and I still can’t believe he just tried talking to me like he didn’t just break my heart into a million tiny pieces. He came over and spoke to me like things wouldn’t be awkward and uncomfortable, like you would talk to someone about the fucking weather, not to someone you just broke up with that you said you were in love with.

29

CREEDENCE

I’ve been sittingon my truck bed all night drinking and playing guitar. Each time Emerald’s come outside with Winter she’s had either a bottle of wine or a bottle of cherry vodka out there with her. Hopefully they’ve been the same bottle, and she hasn’t gone through more than one of each.

I wish I was with her, part of me wishes I never reacted the way I did and that I had the balls to just go over there and apologize. But I don’t have the balls yet and I know she won’t accept it. Especially not after how it went earlier when I apologized for what Stacy said. I can’t believe she said that to her in front of all those people. She’s such a miserable bitch, but that’s okay. I stuck up for Emerald and everything I had said to Stacy embarrassed the fuck out of her, like she deserved. No one fucks with my Emerald like that. Not that she’s mine anymore but still… she didn’t deserve that. I sit here in the bed of my truck, my back against the side and my feet over the edge listening to her mumble to herself. She sounds pretty drunk, and it almost makes me laugh.

“Yeah, fuck you, Creedence.” She sorta shouts to no one since it’s dark and she doesn’t know I’m watching her. I’m not sure where Winter is either.

“Fucking break my heart like that, you asshole,” she slurs. Taking another sip of whichever bottle she has now. She’s going to feel like absolute shit tomorrow that’s for sure.

“I can’t believe him.” Now she’s crying and it breaks my heart that I broke her heart. But I’m an idiot and broke my own heart too in the process. I slowly get out of my truck, grab my guitar, my empty beer pack, and start walking towards my house when her crying becomes louder. I don’t know if it’s because I’m closer or if it’s actually getting louder, but my fucking heart can’t take it. It’s taking everything in me to not go over there and hug her. But I can’t do that. She'd probably kick my ass right now anyways. I head into my garage ignoring the helmet but going to my bike and sitting on it.

“Fuck Xander, I don’t know what you want me to do man,” I say to no one really but hoping my brother can somehow hear me.

“I don’t know if I should ride again for you or stop riding permanently because of what happened to you.” I sigh, tears starting to form in my eyes.

“Fuck dude, why’d you have to leave me man, I miss you so goddamn much. I wish you were here.” I sit on my bike as the tears start streaming down my face faster than I can wipe them. God, I’ve become a bitch these last few days, an overly emotional bitch about a lot of shit. As I sit here lost in my thoughts my phone vibrates in my pocket, as I reach down to get it, I see it’s Axton. Fuck I wipe my tears quickly, I forgot he wanted to go out to Black Velvet tonight.

Axton

Be home in 3 be ready cuz we're leavin then.

Creedence

Ok I’m ready.

Axton

Alright man.

Fuck I wipe away my tears some more and rush inside to wash my face down with some cold water, then grab a towel out of my closet and dry my face off. I check my hair in the mirror real quick because I want to make sure it’s not messed up from when I fell asleep earlier. Then I grab my wallet, and I head out the front door locking it behind me right as Axton is pulling into the driveway.

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