Page 73 of Breathing Without You

He looks away, before cutting me off, not even letting me continue to talk. “Emerald, just go, I have nothing left to say to you other than I was wrong about us. Now leave before I have to be even more of a dick.” He shuts the door. Not even bothering to look at me one last time and I’m left there. On my knees, sobbing on his porch. My whole body is shaking, I slowly get up on wobbly legs and I run off the porch into the grass and puke. I have no food to puke up, but whatever is coming up it burns. It burns my already sore, scratched up throat from his piercings. And I want it to stop, because the memories of how good things just were minutes ago are too fresh, I’m not strong enough to handle all this alone. But it just keeps coming up until I’m dry heaving. My stomach muscles hurt from how hard I was puking, but it hasn’t calmed down. I stand there dry heaving for the nextfew minutes on Creedence’s front lawn. Alone, one of my biggest fears, being left alone.

I just want to go home now to take a warm bath. I can’t believe everything was so perfect all day until about an hour ago when I went and ruined it by doing something so fucking stupid.

When the puking finally stops, I walk home on shaky legs, holding my sore stomach. Barely able to walk. I feel like I’m dragging my body in a standing up position. I grab my house key from my pocket and put it in the keyhole to unlock the door, open it and shut it behind me, locking it again in the process. I set my key in the dark blue dish that sits on the table by my front door and start walking through my house, towards my room. I need to text Winter. Right now, my heart hurts too much and I just want my best friend. But she’s working so I text her.

Emerald

Creedence and I broke up. He broke up with me and I don’t know what to do. My heart is completely broken.

Winter

What the fuck? Please tell me you’re joking.

Winter

Babe, what happened?

Emerald

Long story short, I bought him a new motorcycle helmet, and he didn’t see what I had engraved on it, but he was pissed and thought I was pressuring him and forcing him to do something he wasn’t ready to do and he broke up with me.

Winter

Aw, fuck. I’m gonna see if I can leave early, my shift ends in an hour.

Emerald

No it’s okay, I’m about to take a bath, I’ll see you when you get here. We can drink some wine.

Winter

Okay babe, I’m so sorry, I wanna call him a jerk but I don’t know the full story.

Emerald

Well he is a jerk cause he broke my heart. But fuck Winter, he broke my heart girl.

I walk into my room, shutting my door and take my clothes off as I walk to my closet to grab pajama pants and another hoodie.

Winter

Babe I’m so sorry. I remember Carsten and I went through a rough patch like this. I hope it isn’t permanent like ours wasn’t.

Emerald

Girl, tell me about it. I don’t know what I’m going to do if it is permanent. Fuck dude.

Winter

I wish I knew what else to say besides I love you girl when I get to you we’re gonna get drunk.

Emerald

Yes please. Does Carsten care if you come here?

Winter

Hell no he will understand when I tell him lol.

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