Page 104 of Breathing Without You

“I know, it’s okay I’ll just punish you later for it.” I wink at her.

“What? All that tickling and I don’t get anything as an apology,” she pouts, crossing her tiny child-like arms. Everything about her is tiny, even though she’s thick and curvy, I’m not sure how to explain it. Or maybe she’s just tiny to me because I’m like a big fucking dude. Either way I love how small and fragile she is. I love being the one to protect her from everything.

“Sorry, Sugar.” I laugh. “You secretly loved it.”

I take her hand and walk her into a path through the woods, after walking for what felt like forever, making me think I took the wrong turn since it’s been so long since I’ve been here. Memories flash through my mind of the days my brother and I used to come here and just walk around through the woods, eat some food that we’d buy and take back here. This whole place is one big heart aching memory. But I suck it up and do this for Emerald, and for myself because whether I want to admit it or not, I needed to do this a long time ago, I’m just thankful I’m doing it with Emerald by my side.

“This is all so beautiful.” She smiles as she looks around with every step she takes, and then she looks forward and finally sees it.

“Holy shit, is…is that a waterfall?” She has this big, beautiful smile on her face. “Wow, it’s so…beautiful.” She takes my hand again, walking forward.

“My brother and I found it one day when we took a break after riding. It was a hot-ass, humid fucking day and we were sweating our asses off. We decided to walk through the woods to find some shade, somewhere to cool off and as we walked through we found this.”

“Did you guys swim in it?” She has this huge smile on her face like she’s remembering the memory with me.

“Hell yeah we did, we started making it a tradition every month when the weather was nice we’d ride out and swim out here, just the two of us. I’ve never taken anyone here before because we promised each other we’d keep it to ourselves, but now I’m sharing this with you, in hopes that you’ll keep this between us and make it our place. He would love that, just like he’d love you,” I tell her, trying not to get choked up. But when I look at her, I see tears forming in her beautiful, brown eyes.

“I wish I could have met him; I’d love to be a part of this memory and new tradition between the two of us.” She grabs myhand again, leaning up on her tiptoes to give me a quick kiss. “I love you, Creedence.” She wipes at the few tears that fall freely on her cheeks as she attempts to blink away the new ones.

“I love you, baby. Thank you for wanting to be a part of this.” I wipe her tears away then turn to look at her taking both of her hands in mine, she smiles up at me as she glances back over at the waterfall. The peaceful sound of the water falling into the lake, is such an amazing sound. Yet it’s so quiet like all the noise in the world is gone except for the water around us. I could listen to it all day.

“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and have come to the realization that life is too short. I’ve been living the last few years feeling guilty, guilty that my brother died and that It wasn’t me and guilty for still being alive. I don’t want to live feeling that way anymore because if I wasn’t the one who survived that day then I would have never had the chance to have met you and to have fallen in love with you. I realize I can’t keep living my life in guilt, it’s killing me living this way. Emerald, you saved me, baby. You’ve given me back my life, before you I was a depressed, grieving mess and now I actually want to go out and live again, and I actually want to start riding again, with you, if you’ll ride with me more.” She stands there smiling and listening to me talk not wanting to interrupt at all.

“I said this all to you before and I’m going to say it again because I want you to hear me say it to you, you deserve to hear it today and every day. You’ve never felt like a stranger to me, you’ve been my life in this lifetime and all my lifetimes before this one. You’ve been my rock and my better half. You’re my drug and I’ll never stop or want to stop being addicted to you. When I met you, I knew you were the one, there was just something about you that told me to never let you go and then when I did, I thought I had lost you forever, I thought I’d never get you back. I don’t ever want to be without you because I don’tknow who I am if I’m breathing without you. I belong wherever you are, you are my home, you are my world. All I’ve ever needed is you and all I will ever need will always be you, today, tomorrow and every day, only you. So, remember the time when we both said we were crazy for loving each other so quickly?” I look at her beautiful face smiling at me, with fresh tears in her eyes. I smile back at her feeling really fucking nervous. I get down on one knee and grab her shaking left hand with my shaking hands.

“Emerald, I’m already the happiest man ever when I’m with you, but I’d be even happier if you were my wife. Emerald, will you marry me?” She puts her right hand over her mouth and continues to cry, a little more intense now than she was a minute ago.

“God yes, I’ll marry you,” she says between sobs. “I don’t care how crazy we are, you’re my crazy and I’ll happily be your crazy any day.” I placed the ring on her finger. When I went to pick it out, it was ironically the first ring I saw, and I knew it was meant to be. It’s a heart shaped emerald, with black smaller diamonds surrounding it and going down the sides of the white gold band. I’ve never seen anything like it, but like I said it was the first ring I saw when I walked into that jewelry store, and I knew It was the one.

“Oh my god it’s an emerald,” she squeals in excitement. “I’ve always wanted an emerald wedding ring; how did you know?” she asks, holding her left hand that’s still shaking with her right hand while moving it back and forth watching it sparkle under the sun. “It’s so fucking beautiful.”

“I didn’t know, I just saw it and knew it was perfect. It was the first ring I saw and just knew it was meant to be yours.” I smile at her as I pick her up by her thighs wrapping her legs around my waist. Her lips crash against mine, she opens her mouth, her tongue swiping against mine as I kissher passionately. I want to cherish this moment forever, not a day will go by where I won’t think of this sad memory of a place that my brother and I went to that is now turned into a happy memory. Where I can come here with my future wife and remember the good times my brother and I had while I create good memories with her. She pulls away from the kiss and smiles at me.

“I love you so much, Creedence.”

“I love you, Emerald,” I tell her, and she lowers herself down out of my arms.

“I have an idea.” She has a big smile on her face as she slowly starts taking her clothes off. I look at her with an equally excited smile as I follow her lead and do the same. She strips down leaving her lace bra and thong on and I strip down to my boxer briefs as she giggles in excitement.

“If you can catch me, I’ll let you fuck me on the dock.” She giggles as she runs away from me, I start after her, chasing her slowly. I don’t want to catch her yet. I’ll definitely be fucking her on that dock, but I want to enjoy this happy moment with her. I stop running as she jumps off the dock and splashing into the water. She comes above the surface as I stand there watching her, my future wife with the biggest smile on her face as I smile at her. I never thought I’d see the day where I found pure joy and happiness again and I don’t ever want to do anything to fuck it up again.

EPILOGUE

CREEDENCE

ONE MONTH LATER

I stand thereat the entrance of the dock, with the waterfall behind me. Carsten’s Uncle Kane, who happens to be our officiant to my right and my best friends Carsten, Axton and Chase to my left.

While we watch Winter, Chastity, and Saylor walk down the aisle that we made, our guests line up across from us. We wanted to keep this place a secret but when we decided we wanted to get married we couldn’t think of a better place to have it than here. On top of that it made me feel like my brother is here with us since this was our place to hang out. It made it more special for the both of us.

The music changes and the song “A Thousand Years” by Christina Perri starts playing and I close my eyes, taking a deep breath for what’s to come. I know when I open them, I’m probably going to cry and I have no shame in crying because of the beautiful woman that I will get to call my wife here shortly. Everyone stands and I close my eyes again, partly from nerves,wanting to be surprised and trying to calm myself down as tears already start to fall down my cheeks, who knew I’d be this emotional on my wedding day.

I take another deep breath in as I feel a hand on my shoulder.

“Holy shit,” Carsten whispers behind me, he’s the one putting his hand on my shoulder. “She looks fucking gorgeous man open your eyes, brother.”

I open my eyes as Emerald walks towards me and the breath is literally taken from my lungs. She takes my breath away in her beautiful white halter top dress, the whole upper part of her dress that covers her breasts and stomach are all laced flowers that almost looks see through, but it’s the tan fabric underneath giving it the illusion of nothing being underneath. It’s tight all the way down to her hips before the lace fabric starts flowing out into a long train, covered in lace flowers that match the rest of the dress. She looks absolutely gorgeous. Her green and black hair is braided off to the side with loose strands curled around her face. I look at her smiling as the tears fall down her cheeks, she takes her hand away from her bouquet to wipe them before placing her hand back on it and letting out a small giggle that I feel like only I could hear. I smile with her as she gets closer to me, and the tears just keep coming down both of our faces. I feel like a pussy until I look over and see all three of my best friends crying as well as the three girls. At least I’m not the only one, but even if I was, I wouldn’t give a fuck, how I could I not cry while looking at someone as gorgeous as Emerald, she looks absolutely breathtaking in that dress, and I want to remember this moment forever. I stand there completely lost in my thoughts not listening to anything Kane is saying as I stare at Emerald’s beautiful face, as she listens to Kane talk to us and to our guests. I can’t focus, how can I focus when I can’t wait to permanently make this woman mine.

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