Page 79 of Three to Fall

He glanced at me warily and then watched me lower the zipper on his fly. “Seriously?”

“You gonna stop me?”

Hawk sniggered and lifted his hips, tugging down his jeans. “Not for a fucking second.”

Smug prick. But I liked he wasn’t protesting. The windows in the back had a darker tint than the ones in the front. Not completely impenetrable by any means, but they did give off an illusion of privacy from prying eyes on the road outside.

They’d do nothing to stop Grayson and Kara getting a free peep show, but the thought of Kara watching me blow Hawk only made me hotter. I took out his cock and stroked him until he was hard, and then I leaned over and put my mouth around him.

His hands fell instantly to the back of my head. Not the light scratching Kara was fond of when my head was between her thighs. Hawk’s touch was much less thoughtful, all grabby fingers fisting in my hair, his hands trying to control me.

I pulled off and gave him a look.

He laughed and put his hands up. “Fine. Fine. Sorry! Carry on!”

I lowered my mouth over him again, sucking on his knob.

More of the same from Hawk. Him being an arrogant prick and thinking this was his show.

I glared at him again. “You good trying to control everything all of the time?”

“You love it.”

He wasn’t exactly wrong, but this also wasn’t the relationship I wanted with him. I wasn’t going to be his bitch. Take his cock whenever he wanted me to.

This was a two-way fucking street, and Hawk needed to learn that. I had every intention of fucking him. Couldn’t wait to feel my cock sink inside his tight virgin ass. But we were never going to get there if Hawk didn’t let go of his need to be in charge.

That was part of the reason he was so stressed out right now. Because the situation we were about to walk into was unknown. And he had little control over the outcome.

Not that he’d ever admit that. I saw through his bullshit, cocky exterior. I knew he was stressed and scared, and I was just trying to help him. If he wanted to be a dick about it, he could go fuck himself. He was such a bastard.

I was done playing games. “Nah, fuck you. You want to be in control? You can fuck your hand.” I shifted back to my side, and slunk down in my seat, tugging a baseball cap low over my eyes.

He could take care of his stress by himself. I didn’t fucking care if he worried and stressed himself into an early grave.

Except the thought of him dying had me sick to my stomach. Especially because there was a very real chance of bullets flying when we stormed Ethereal Eden.

I didn’t want to lose him.

Not that I was going to tell him that. Cocky bastard wouldn’t ever let me live it down if I did.

Hawk snorted. “You fucking mad at me?”

Mad he was still playing stupid games and couldn’t just let me in for one fucking minute. Yeah.

He slid across the bench a few inches. “Chaos.”

He was pretty much the only person who still called me that. On his lips, I liked it. But sometimes it felt surface level. Like a way of him holding me at arm’s length and not admitting I was a real fucking person beneath the persona. The same way it felt when he acted like I was just a place to stick his dick, even though I was sure this thing between us was more than that. “You know that hasn’t been my name for a long fucking time.”

He paused. “It’s habit.”

“Whatever.”

“Hayden.”

I still didn’t look up. Didn’t have the energy to do this with him right now, while I was battling the realization he’d become someone who mattered to me. Someone I cared about. SomeoneI might have even loved if he wasn’t such a dickhead all the damn time.

I needed a minute to process the feelings potentially losing him tonight was stirring up inside me. I couldn’t do that with him yammering in my ear.

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