Page 108 of Three to Fall

I mentally berated myself for not leading with that. The prophet had no time to indulge in compliments and flattery. They were the Devil’s work, making women vain and men arrogant. I should have known better. “I came to warn you to be careful. To watch your back in here. The Slayers have it outfor you. If you aren’t sentenced to life, they’re going to have you killed.”

I knew every word was being recorded, but I didn’t care if I threw the Slayers under the bus. They’d already mowed me down with it, so they could feel the pain of betrayal the same way I had today when I’d realized how stupid I’d been to ever think they’d let me truly in.

Josiah seemed like he was pondering that for a moment, and then he nodded. “I appreciate you bringing me this information. You said you were a fan of mine?”

I nodded quickly. “I’ve been listening for a year or so. Every episode.”

“And yet you never came to join us at Ethereal Eden? Why not?”

Embarrassment heated my cheeks. “I wanted to. Tulip made it sound so wonderful at first. A place where all were accepted for their true selves.”

Josiah nodded. “That’s what Ethereal Eden is, Xan. A haven for those who have been rejected by regular society. I wish you’d come to me. I could have saved you the pain I see in your face right now.”

I swallowed thickly, wishing I’d done things differently too. “But the more I got to know her, the more she changed her story. She was tainted by evil; I know that now. Her mind and her tongue slowly poisoned against the Lord. She lied to me all along, saying she wanted to marry me. Have a family with me. But when I said I would come there so we could be married, she told me not to. Told me she was leaving the flock and turning her back on the one true religion.”

He shook his head. “Tulip…” He screwed up his face, and then the lines in his forehead smoothed out. “Alice.”

I nodded.

“She took my wife and child with her. Did you know that, Brother Xan?”

A warm flood of acceptance filled me at him calling me brother.

It was all I’d ever wanted from the Slayers. Why I’d joined them in the first place. Because they were brothers. Family. They’d promised to make me a part of it.

But clearly, they’d lied as much as Alice had. They’d all filled my head with hopes and dreams of a better future, one with people who loved and cared for me.

And they’d all taken it away with their lies.

I twisted my fingers around the phone cord. “I know. Kara and Hayley Jade. I’ve tried to bring them back to you. Both of them.”

He cocked his head to one side. “How?”

I knew I couldn’t admit what I’d done. Not here, with every word being recorded. So I quoted one of my favorite teachings back at him, one I had held on to, analyzing it my mind regularly until it had become a sort of mantra I knew word for word. “Women need to be reborn when they have sinned. They need to prove their worth. Prove that the evil can be leached from their souls.”

I implored him with my eyes to understand that I had tried but only succeeded once.

When I’d put a cord around my sweet Tulip’s neck in a city alley and pulled it tight, cutting off her oxygen, and watching the sins release from her body as her lips turned blue.

But I had failed with Kara. Failed by putting her in that box and burying her. I should have just made it fast, like I had with her lying sister. I’d wanted Kara to hear the Lord’s words when she died, so her soul would be cleansed and reborn. But all I’d done was give the evil inside her time to connect with the evil in Hawk and Chaos.

A small smile spread across Josiah’s lips. “You did well, child of God.”

I bowed my head and fought off the pride at his praise, knowing it would be a sin to feel it but struggling not to. “Thank you.”

“But you can do more. You must if you are to lead the movement to rebuild Ethereal Eden in my absence. My wife’s soul needs to be reborn. And my daughter, she needs to be brought back to her people.”

I lifted my head quickly, widening my eyes. “Lead… You would accept me? Even though I have failed?”

He put one hand to the glass. “Of course, my child. Like I said earlier, all are accepted at Ethereal Eden. You are already one of us. A child of God.”

Tears pricked at the backs of my eyes again.

It was the acceptance I’d wanted Army or War or Hawk to give me for so many years. An acknowledgement that I was part of them. That I was family.

And yet they never had. They’d held it just out of my reach, toying with me like a stupid kitten that knew no better.

They were the stupid ones. I’d hedged my bets. I’d found others who would accept me, even when they hadn’t.

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