Page 86 of Bull Moon Rising

Picking up my shield, I gesture that Gwenna should lead the way now, since she’s at the front of the line, and we head back the way we came. We’re all a little quieter now that the truth of what the tunnels are like is setting in. My thoughts are swirling, comparing the reality of the tunnels with what I had imagined. I’m not disappointed, not precisely…but I can’t help wishing that Hawk was here. Something tells me he’d understand more than anyone else.

Or maybe I’m just making excuses because I really want to talk to him.

When the caverns open back up and we see the faint, distant light of Magpie’s encampment, I realize I’m exhausted. Some of the dampness of my clothing is sweat, as we’ve been hiking through tunnels all day long. Gwenna looks as tired as I am, and Lark and Mereden, too.

“How long do you think we’ve been gone?” Mereden asks. “How do we tell time down here?”

“Well, my stomach won’t stop growling,” Lark says, patting her gut. “And I normally don’t get hungry until well past dinnertime, so I’d say it’s late. I’m ready to eat some shitty rations and go to sleep and…”

She stops, silenced, and I peer around her.

The camp is a disaster. Our bags have been tossed about, our food supplies flung onto the ground. The extra canteens we left behind aresitting in puddles of their contents. Our bedding is gone or slashed to ribbons, our changes of clothing equally destroyed.

Magpie is sprawled, face down, amongst the mess.

“Auntie!” Lark cries, surging forward. Immediately we’re all knocked off our feet—Lark included—as she forgets we’re all still tied together. She crawls forward as we struggle to stand upright again. “Auntie Magpie! Is she dead?”

Gwenna helps Mereden to her feet just as a loud, garish snore echoes in the cavern. “She’s not dead,” Gwenna retorts. “She’s fucking drunk.”

Lark goes to her aunt’s side, flipping her onto her back and shaking her awake. The rest of us focus on untying the ropes, not saying anything.

“Auntie Magpie?” Lark says, tapping her cheek. “Wake up.”

Magpie comes awake with a snort, then rubs her eyes. She rolls out of her blankets, and the sound of empty bottles clank overloud in the cavern. I exchange a look with Gwenna.

“Wh-whuh,” Magpie says, wiping her mouth. She peers at Lark. “Whuh is it? Whuh happened?”

“You tell us! What happened to the camp?”

Magpie sits up, blinking. It takes her a moment to realize our supplies have been destroyed. She picks up one chunk of hardtack and nibbles on it despite the dirt on the cavern floor. “Ratlings, mebbe.”

“Oh, come on,” Gwenna protests. “It’s not ratlings.”

Magpie flops back onto her pallet. “You don’t know that.”

“Would ratlings have left you alone while you sprawled, passed-out drunk? Or would they have attacked you?” Gwenna shakes her head and picks up a torn piece of blanket. “This was clearly someone trying to sabotage us.”

Oh gods. Is it Barnabus? Is he somehow sending his minions after us?

“Who would want to do that?” Mereden asks, handing me the unknotted rope so I can free myself.

“Literally anyone with a penis!” Gwenna exclaims, gesturing at our group. “Look at how they’ve been treating us since we’ve arrived! They don’t like the thought of more women in their precious guild—or a slitherskin—and they’re doing their best to let us know that we’re not wanted.”

Oh. Or that. It could be that. I pull the rope free from my belt and collapse on the floor, overwhelmed. I want my spectacles because I don’t want to run into more spiders. I want to lie down and rest my head but my blanket is shredded—or gone entirely. I want to eat and go to sleep with my arms around my cat and not have to worry about Barnabus, or about other men in the guild sabotaging us. I want to not have to worry about Magpie spending her time drinking instead of teaching us. I want to not worry if my Taurian husband hates me or if Barnabus is going to expose me to the guild or simply just try to take over my father’s hold.

I’m so fuckingtiredof it all.

“Seriously, Auntie Magpie, how could you?” Lark gives her aunt a disappointed look. “How are we ever going to succeed if you’re sabotaging us, too?”

“Oh, grow up,” Magpie snaps at Lark. “You think they’re ever going to let any of you in? They hate women in the guild. Trust me, I know. They’re going to let you play at being guild artificers and never pass you. I figured if I brought you down here, you could at least get a taste of things. Don’t fucking blame me.”

Her words just make the ache in my chest even worse. She’s right. The men of the guild have made it clear that they don’t respect us. Even if we did find something, what would be the point? It’d just help Barnabus.

I’m damned if I do, damned if I don’t.

Gwenna cleans up around camp while Mereden and Lark work on helping Magpie sober up. Kipp takes the waterskins and heads off to the nearest drip in the rocks to refill them, and I sit on my ass and feel sorry for myself, swiping tears as they fall down my cheeks. When things are tidied, Gwenna comes and sits at my side. “Are you done?”

“I feel pretty done at the moment, yes.” I sniff harder. “I don’t know why I ever thought I could do this.”

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