Page 108 of Bull Moon Rising

“Oh, it can wait,” Gwenna blurts out, betraying me. She jumps to her feet and moves to stand behind my chair. She leans in and whispers in my ear, “Distract him and I’ll check on the situation with Magpie.”

And then with a brilliant smile, she leaves me alone with the moody Taurian.

I give him an impatient look. “You decided now is the best time to talk despite ordering me to sleep next to you tonight? It couldn’t wait until then?”

“I didn’t know if you were going to come to bed.”

“Because you don’t trust me, right?” I keep the words light and playful even as they cut.

He sighs heavily. “Because I wouldn’t want to come to bed with me, either. Whatever frustration or anger you’re feeling right now, I deserve it.”

I run a finger down the front of the book, not looking him in the eye. I don’t know what to say to that. It certainly wasn’t what I expected to hear from him. “Was that an apology?”

“More of an explanation,” he says. “Can we go talk in our room?”

Now I glance up at him, suspicious. Is this going to turn into another spy inquisition? But…Gwenna did tell me to distract him. Hells. I get to my feet, my chin held high. “If you’re a boor, I’m going to leave again, fair warning.”

“If I’m a boor to you, I’ll absolutely expect it,” he says, and moves to my side, putting a hand to the small of my back to lead me to our room.

Standing this close to Hawk always makes me feel slightly breathless. I’m a big woman—tall and strong and the opposite of dainty—but his hand on the small of my back makes me feel delicate. Like a thing to be protected. It’s not something I’m used to—both the touch and the feeling of being something worth protecting—but I like it. And I hate that I like it, because it makes me feel vulnerable, like it can be used against me.

We head down the hall from the kitchen and into Hawk’s private chamber. Squeaker is curled up on the window seat, spreading orange cat hair all over the cushions. She yawns when we enter and stretches in place but makes no effort to get up, and Hawk doesn’t ask me to remove her. That means we’re probably not going to get intimate.

I…can’t decide if I’m disappointed or relieved.

He gestures that I can sit on the bed, and I move to sit on the edge, clasping my hands in my lap. I’m doing my best to remain composed, but being alone with him brings on floods of memories and scandalous thoughts, and it’s hard to concentrate. Hawk paces at the far side of the room, his tail flicking back and forth, and I notice that the sleeves of his shirt are rolled up, revealing bulging muscles. He’s discarded his guild jacket somewhere, too, and when he paces, I can see the fine, thick shape of his thighs and the rounded strength of his backside.

If he’s trying to appeal to me by simply looking intense and delectable, he’s doing an excellent job.

Hawk tugs on the ring that hangs from his broad nose. “Aspeth…I know I’ve behaved cruelly toward you.”

That makes me pause. “Cruelly? I’d say you were an arse but I don’t know if cruelty was involved.”

“I’ve thrown things in your face that I shouldn’t have.” He shakes his head and paces some more. “I was furious that you were keeping secrets. That you didn’t trust me. And of course, everything is amplified thanks to the Conquest Moon’s rising—”

“Oh, comeon, now. You can’t blame everything on that.”

He turns and gives me a sharp look. “You don’t know what it feels like.”

“I do not,” I agree. “But I’ve also done my best to be accommodating for the Conquest Moon time, and you’ve lashed out at me in private moments. That’s not the Conquest Moon. That’s you being a shit.”

His mouth tenses and he tugs on the ring on his nose again. “I know. I just…” More pacing. I wait for him to answer, because he seems to be conflicted. “I just…this should be transactional between us and it’s not.”

I tilt my head at him in surprise. Does he feel like I’m not holding up my end of the bargain? “It’s not?”

A low growl escapes him, and then he storms across the room to my side. Hawk leans over the bed, caging me in place as he puts his hands on either side of me. “Iwantyou. More than I should.”

My lips part.

“No, that’s not right.” He shakes his head, his horns swiveling dangerously, and then lifts his face to meet my gaze again. “I want you more than a teacher should want his student. I want you more than I should for a marriage of convenience. And that’s the part that fucking bothers me.”

“It…does?” Why does that make my stupid heart flutter? He thinks I’m a spy, out trying to rob the guild of its riches or some nonsense.

“It does bother me,” Hawk continues. He studies my face, his breath warming the air around us. “Because I think about you all the time. It’s not just the Conquest Moon—I’ve felt its grip on me before. This is something else. If it was just the Conquest Moon, I wouldn’t think about your smile. I wouldn’t think about the way you laugh when you’re trying to be polite, and how different it is from when you’re truly amused. I wouldn’t think about you and that stupid cat of yours and how you lavish affection on it when you come home and it makes me jealous.”

My cheeks heat. He’s jealous of Squeaker?

“I wouldn’t be obsessed with the realization that I still owe you an orgasm from last night and how thinking about it has been distracting me all day long. I nearly fell off a drop earlier because I was thinking about the way your soft cunt clenched around my fingers, and how it’s going to feel when I’m deep inside you for the first time.”

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