Page 18 of Tarnished

“Beck,” I gently called, drawing his eyes back to me, “don’t,” I warned. “You’re allowed to feel everything you’re feeling, you hear me? I just ask that you don’t feel guilty for it. You have a lot to work through. You both do. And you’re allowed to do that.”

He nodded at me before wrapping his free arm around Clarke, drawing her against his side. Clarke smiled at me. “Will you let us know if there are any changes?”

I nodded. “Of course.”

When I got outside, I dialed River’s number and pulled the phone to my ear. He answered on the third ring. “River?” I asked.

He sighed. “Nothing new. Not yet. Alejandro is digging. His men are still infiltrating. But there’s still nothing.”

I leaned against the porch railing and stared down at my bare feet. “What about their parents?”

“So far, squeaky clean,” River answered me. I made an aggravated noise. “Alejandro put out a surveillance team on them yesterday, so we should have something soon.”

Just how many men did Alejandro have working under him, for fuck’s sake?

“If you hear anything before I call again tomorrow, will you reach out?” I asked him, looking over at the sight of one of the bushes rustling. I momentarily tensed, but it was only one of Alejandro’s guards getting more comfortable in his position.

“Yeah, brother. I’ll reach out.” He paused for a moment. “How are Clarke and Beck?”

“Hanging in there,” I told him honestly. “Not much else they can do, but they’re handling everything pretty well, all things considered.” I didn’t bother telling him I’d fucked Beck six ways from Sunday. “Clarke’s only had one nightmare so far. Could get worse the longer she’s away. Only time will tell.”

“Can you handle that?”

A rough chuckle escaped my lips. “Yeah, I can handle it.” I was a goddamn expert at handling it, though I knew he didn’t know that.

“We’ll speak tomorrow,” River told me before ending the call. I pocketed my phone and stared out over the landscape, hating that more hadn’t happened. That Alejandro hadn’t found out something. I knew patience was a huge player in this game, but my patience was running thin.

Clarke and Beck needed closure. And I was getting agitated that they didn’t have it yet.

14

Clarke

Tears streamed down my cheeks as I stared up at the white, tiled ceiling. I could hear the guard making his way down to my room, his heavy boots thumping down the corridor. I clenched my hands into fists, tugging on the cuffs bound tightly around my wrists. The only thing they did was clang against the metal railings, echoing loudly in the otherwise silent, mostly empty, clinically-white room.

Vomit rose up my throat, my fear ratcheting higher with every step the guard took. Those boots were getting louder, the steps still steady—calm and unbothered. Snot ran down over my lips as I quietly sobbed. I knew I couldn’t get out of these restraints, but it didn’t stop me from trying every time I was conscious.

If I didn’t keep fighting, what would happen to me? To my will to live? I had to get out of here one day. Someone was going to come for me, right? They had to.

My mom and stepdad were too influential for someone to not come find me. I had to keep hold of that hope. If I lost it… I may as well just die.

The door slowly opened, the well-oiled hinges not making a single sound. The guard gave me a predatory smile. “Hello, Clarke.”

I opened my mouth…

And screamed.

I jerked awake, my heart slamming against my breastbone, my skin clammy with sweat. I sniffled and swiped at my cheeks, staring up at the dark ceiling. I squeezed my eyes shut, choking on another sob. This room bore too many shadows that too easily took on the form of the monsters from my flashbacks, even with Beck’s arm thrown over my waist.

Shakily, I eased my body out from beneath Beck’s heavy arm. He didn’t so much as grunt when I got up, and I breathed a sigh of relief. I knew he would want to know when I had a nightmare… or, well, flashback, but he needed rest. Especially after his time with Tank.

They’d done their best to hide all evidence, but the scent of sex had become so ingrained into me now that I could pick up even the slightest hint of it. I’d known the moment I’d walked into the room that they’d fucked.

It didn’t bother me. Didn’t even trigger me. But it had made me slightly jealous that I hadn’t gotten to experience it, too.

Tank’s door was slightly ajar when I emerged into the hall, and before I could even realize what I was doing, I was already slightly pushing it open, peeking in. His eyes snapped open, and a small squeak of surprise slipped past my lips since I hadn’t expected him to be awake. He grunted as he raked his eyes over the part of me that wasn’t hidden behind the door.

“What’s wrong, little one?” he murmured, his voice husky and thick with sleep. My core tightened, my belly warming. He always sounded sinfully sexy, but when he was like this, his voice all deep and gravelly, he made me want to let him do whatever he wanted to me.

---