Page 53 of Sweetest Hate

Arsen still hadn't said anything as we collectively shoved Quinn into the back seat. He appeared really out of it as he flopped down to lay on his side, muttering a slurred curse. I sighed as I slid the passenger seat, and Arsen started the car.

The ride back was awkward, with neither of us talking. When Arsen pulled into the driveway, he made no move to get out. His hands remained tight on the wheel as he stared through the windshield. "Are you in love with Quinn?" he finally asked. "Do you have feelings for him?"

My throat ached with the thought of him walking away, but I found myself unable to lie to Arsen. He deserved the truth and to make his own decision on whether he wanted to end things between us. I blew out a ragged breath. "When we were younger, yeah, I thought maybe that was still the case. As we grew older, I couldn't shake the idea, though now I know that wasn't that kind of love I felt for him. It was just the comfort of knowing him our entire lives—the kind of love you feel for a best friend. I guess I had some fear deep down that he would find someone to spend his life with and not be around for me anymore. I hadn't recognized the difference in those feelings until a few weeks ago. It wasn't until…"

His jaw was set in stone as he continued looking at the house instead of me. "Until what?"

"Until I met you," I whispered.

Arsen remained quiet, and I swallowed hard as I waited for the verdict. Would he walk away?

"So, the night we met, when we were together in my room, did you still think you were in love with him?" His voice shook, and it really hit home that I'd unintentionally hurt him.

"It wasn't like that. The last thing I was thinking about was Quinn while I was with you. And afterward, things were different. Being with you was all-consuming. It finally clicked that I'd never been in love with Quinn. You made me realize that." I studied, him waiting for a reaction. Everything I said was true, but I wasn't sure it was enough.

Rubbing a finger over his lower lip, he finally looked at me. "So your feelings for him just evaporated. Just like that."

I shook my head. "You're not listening. There were no feelings to evaporate. It cleared the fog that I'd unconsciously clung to. You… Meeting you was like gravity, pulling me in from every direction and holding me in place. Quinn was a wind I was used to flowing with. How I responded to just being near you was so much more than the way I'd ever felt with Quinn."

Arsen quietly drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. Finally, he popped open his door and hit the lever to move the front seat.

"Arsen," I started, and he shook his head.

"Not now, Kellan. Just go open the door and help me get him inside." He tossed me the keys that he'd borrowed from my parents for the duration of his stay, then reached into the back seat and hefted up Quinn, who at least managed to get his feet on the ground.

Kellan. I'd never missed the nicknamelittle mouseso much before that moment, but the absence of those words made me shake as I unlocked the door. I dropped his keys on the table beside the door so that I could help get Quinn to his room. After dragging him down the hall, Arsen unceremoniously dumped him on the bed and walked out, leaving me standing in the hall as I tried to steady my breathing.

The sound of the front door slamming, followed by the purr of Arsen's engine, got my feet moving. By the time I reached the front door, all I saw were taillights. My throat constricted as I watched the red lights fade the further he drove away from me. From us.

I couldn't have anticipated meeting Arsen and hadn't done anything wrong, but I'd hurt him anyway. And with his abrupt reaction, he'd hurt me too.

Maybe we were just two people who hadn't expected to meet, much less fall into a relationship that may as well have been doomed from the start.

"K?" Quinn's slur came from down the hall, and I closed my eyes as I took a deep inhale. I didn't want to deal with him, not after everything I'd learned, and definitely not while I was struggling with how to handle Arsen taking off without so much as looking back. A thump came from Quinn's room. "K, I'm sorry."

With a sigh, I turned and headed back down the hall, stopping in Quinn's doorway.

"About what?"

He blew out a ragged breath. "I heard it all. I'm just so fucked up. My head and my heart…it's all just fucked."

I wasn't in the mood for drunk ramblings from Quinn who'd caused enough problems for one night.

"I didn't mean to ruin your thing with Arsen." He gave a very drunk version of a scowl. "I just…wish it had been me. But when I wake up tomorrow, can we pretend this never happened?"

I glanced at Quinn and shook my head. "I'm not sure."

Quinn's expression fell. "I fucked up so, so fucking bad. I'm so sorry."

Leaning against the doorframe, I crossed my arms over my chest. "I'm not even worried about him finding out that I had a thing for you. I was telling the truth when I told him it wasn't the same. But the shit you said to him about his mom, Quinn? What the fuck?"

"I know, okay. I fucking know. Jeez." He propped his head on his bent arm, yawning as his words began running together. "On a scale of one to ten, how forgivable am I right now?"

I pushed off the wall. "I need to go home. If Arsen comes back, tell him—"

Quinn's snore met my ears and I sighed as I backed out of his room.

Eighteen

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