Page 3 of Endless

My broken eyes meet his. He knows I know. I can't help but notice the way he stares at me longer than usual.

"Do you want to go get lunch somewhere off campus?" he says while wrapping his hand around my waist.

I have to fight every urge in me to not flinch away.Don't give him a reason to think you aren't okay. Don't think about the razor in the corner that's calling out to you.I place my hand flat on his chest to glance up at him and lie.

"I'm sorry I can't today. I have a few errands to run around town." I don't have errands to run but he can't call me out on the lie without openly admitting what he did.

I could meet up with Lexi, but I don't want to talk about this with anyone yet. Lexi is my best friend. At least to the world, that's who she is. To me, she is just the first person who was nice to me on campus. I've managed to open myself up to herjust a smidge more than usual, but she doesn't really know me. Nobody does. Nobody has since Dani. I won't let myself go through something like that ever again.

My phone makes a noise, and I do my best not to look down at it.

Even Carson, my boyfriend for nearly a year, doesn’t know me. He only sees the Lena I want him to. The real me is dark, damaged, and unlovable. Everyone thinks he is someone I should covet. ‘He's a keeper. You're thriving with him. You two make such a cute couple. Imagine what your children will look like.’ That's what they all say.

Carson is only a keeper because he is the perfect cover. My parents think I'm happy. The friends I entertain think he balances me out. It'll always be fake because nobody like him would ever understand who I really am.

Maybe I don’t know him either. I didn’t even know he was recording us having sex. How many other videos does he have? I need to get out of here and find somewhere quiet to pull myself together.

"Dinner at Mount Chellos tonight?" Carson says to me, reminding me that I'm still in the room with him.

I step away from his side and peer up to find him looking down at me with the same weary glance he’s had since coming home. More texts come through my phone. How the fuck did all of these people even get my phone number? I don't want to go to dinner. I don't want to be around him right now while I try to process this. He won't let up until I agree to something.

"I don't know if I'm in the mood for anything that fancy," Iadmit.

"Lena, your phone has been going off since I walked into the apartment. I know you saw the video." My jaw clenches, and I avert my eyes from him, refusing to admit that he's right. "Let me make it up to you," he says, trying to stroke my cheek.

"It's fine, really."It's not fine,I think.

"You're not upset with me?" he asks, wrapping his hand around my waist and pulling me into him.

"No, Carson. I don't want to talk about it right now either. I'm on edge. You know I need to make sure my anxiety doesn't get the best of me. It's better if I just forget about it."

"I didn't know she was going to send it out to everyone. She's been trying to get me to break up with you. She won't accept that I want you."

She? Who the fuck is she? Is he cheating on me now, too?I should have seen this coming. I try my best to keep my breathing even and my face emotionless. I need to get out of here.

I grab my keys off of the holder near the door and walk back over to him to give him a chaste peck on the lips. "I'll be back in a little bit. We can go somewhere close for dinner."

"Okay. If that's what you want. I just want to make it up to you."

"There's nothing to make up. It’s fine."

With that, I open the door and walk to my car. I already know where I’m going. I can't be in that apartment with him. If there was hell, this would be it. It's almost a sick joke that nobody inmy life is real or genuine. They're all just as fake as I am when I tell them I'm okay. How the fuck am I supposed to go on like this? Something has to give at some point, right?

Chapter 2

Kellan

She seems on edge today, like something transpired between her and that shitty boyfriend she spends her time with. I'm not entirely sure why she continues to put up with him. He doesn't benefit her in any way. It's a curious thing, really.

I've watched her closely from a distance for some time now. Distance is all I'm afforded because no matter how much I want her, I can't have her.

My job is simple, wait for the right time and lead them down their path. Do not intervene. I’d never been tempted to intervene until I laid eyes on this raven-haired beauty. She's such a strange, alluring creature.

The Angel of Death, Grim Reaper, Santa Muerte, and Azarel are just a few of the names I go by. I haven't had the luxury of someone calling me by my true name in a long time. If I had the choice, people would just call me Kellan. All of my aliases seem so... final.

In a way, everything I do is final. I spend the entirety of my existence ensuring those who cross my path end up on their correct one. Aside from the date, time of their death and name, I know nothing about them. I don't need to know anything else. I am only a neutralbystander who leads and watches while they carry out their purpose in my realm.

Not everyone ends up with me. Most find their way automatically to either Heaven or Hell based on how they live their human lives. The ones I am tasked to lead are those who either have unfinished business or need to be tested. These souls come to my realm to find their purpose.

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