Page 5 of Blizzards and Brews

I was tired and fucking lonely and somehow he’d worn me down to where I agreed.

Two weeks after that, I was standing in an empty lot with a key leading to nowhere.

I’d reported it to the police and swore Hunter, our Sheriff and an old friend of mine, to secrecy. It wasn’t that I didn’t have money to rent a place, but as much as I loved my small town, I knew they’d all come out with their pitchforks if they knew someone had hurt one of their own.

I couldn’t have gone to the inn or else it would have spread like wildfire. So, here I was at Beatty’s licking my wounds and trying to find a solution.

If I didn’t adore running water and electricity I had half a mind to pitch a tent on my land.

But the truth of the matter was that I felt so fucking embarrassed it happened in the first place. I mean, I was Lindsay fucking Stone, level-headed beta and all around kick ass. I wasn’t a push over and I definitely wasn’t some cheap mark in a long con.

“You really should do something for yourself,” Summer said quietly. “I know when I was raising Theo by myself, things would get hard. There were nights I sat and just cried. Eventually, I had to remember that I was still a person. Your situation isn’t the same, but it is important you do more than just work and sleep.It gets monotonous and awful after a while. I don't know if you have any hidden hobbies or talents, but maybe embrace them. Either way, find something to indulge in a little.”

It was such a passionate speech that I blinked down at the table for a few moments before I answered.

“I don't know how long it's been since I've done something like that for myself,” I admitted. I ran my hand through my messy hair and let out a breath. How long had I been simply going through the motions?

I'd put my heart and soul into running the bar with the guys. They really were my family. Of course, my heart wanted more, but I knew it wasn’t right, so I never indulged in those fantasies for long.

It just felt like I was running from myself for so long. Somewhere along the way I’d convinced myself if I kept busy enough and never relaxed, I’d never find time to overthink.

Now, I was on a downward slope, unable to stop myself as I hurtled toward burnout or depression.

Never in my life had I hated being a beta. I was more than happy to not have to go through heats or face the constant, raging hormones.

A normal period was bad enough. No fucking thank you.

Unfortunately, being a beta meant that we didn't get the first pick of packs. Hell, sometimes betas didn't get a pack at all. The instincts and biological needs of alphas and omegas called out to each other. Male betas fit the pack lifestyle but female betas were an afterthought.

Most female omegas didn’t want another female in the mix. Who could blame them?

That little voice in my head started to speak up, to remind me that I knew what pack I wanted, but it was too painful to give that voice a chance. Instead, I shoved it away and put a small smile on my face, trying to lighten the conversation with a joke.

“Maybe I should take up crocheting or ax throwing. I've heard that can be cathartic.”

“Ooh! How about one of those rage rooms?” Summer said excitedly. “Don’t worry. We can find you something.”

Oh God, did I just make this a mission for her? I might be regretting this entire conversation.

“I’m sure I’ll figure it out,” I reassured her quickly, steering the conversation in a different direction. “Thanks for the talk, Summer. I needed that.”

“Well, I would have suggested going out to the bar for a girls’ night, but the guys and I just got some news and they’re a bit feral right now. I wouldn’t doubt it if Miller and Cole were casing the damn block as we speak.”

Her hand gently slid down her dress pressing it close and revealing the small bump there.

“Congratulations!” I exclaimed. “I knew you were glowing, but hot damn, mama. I didn’t expect y’all to be cooking another bun so soon.”

“Me either,” she admitted with a small blush. “But to tell you the truth, I’m kind of excited. I was on my own last time, and this is a totally different experience. The guys have been so amazing and even Theo is already talking about how he’s going to be the best big brother.”

“You deserve all the happiness,” I told her sincerely, already making a mental note to get with the girls to throw her an awesome shower.

She smiled before giving me a pointed look. “You do too, Lindsay. If I can handle coming back to Holiday Hollow and facing my fears, I’m sure a fierce woman like yourself can do the same.”

Beatty came back in and the two fell back into conversation but I couldn’t get Summer’s words out of my head.

I deserved happiness. I deserved fun.

And for Hollow's sake, I was going to find it.

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