Page 2 of Evening Shadows

Jesse appeared to contemplate his answer, making Ken even more nervous. He wanted to wipe his sweaty palms on his black cargo pants but didn’t want to show Jesse that he was anything other than the strong agent he’d hired.

“Okay, trust the doctor. Don’t rush it or it might not heal correctly.” Before Ken could say what he needed to say, Jesse continued. “The rest of the team will be back in a few days. Rob’s doing fine, but I’m looking forward to you taking back over. If you approve of his ability to lead a team, we’re planning to split the team since it’s so large, and that’ll give each group a team leader and smaller team to bond together since many ops only take a select number of operatives.” He paused. “You’d still lead as a whole.”

Jesse took a breath and seemed to wait for Ken’s thoughts on his suggestion, but they were jumbled. His boss’s plans included him, but Ken’s participation would be a liability to HIS. It didn’t matter which way he looked at it, his injury was debilitating. No amount of his boss’s desire to welcome him back or create the whole family vibe they had going in HIS would change that fact.

Since Ken remained quiet, Jesse plowed forward. “You’ll see less and less of me, my brothers, and our wives in the field.” He smiled. “Kids grow up too damn fast, you know? We’ll still be involved, but we want to stay close to home and take over our investigations side. Which reminds me.” Jesse snapped his fingers, turned, and opened a desk drawer, then pulled out a small stack of yellow file folders. “I’d like to go over a few candidates with you and get your thoughts.” Jesse must’ve thought Ken had a question about the folder color, because he shrugged and explained, “Em decided we needed to color code things for easier filing for her. Yellow for candidates, then red and blue for the two teams we’ll have. I have no idea what color she’s reserved for the family.” Jesse grinned and shook his head. “Anyhow, I want you to be a part of the interview process. I don’t want to drop someone on you that might not mesh well with how you lead. We’ll also involve Rob if you think he’s ready to select the right candidates for his team. No matter what, you’re still the ultimate team leader.”

Ken’s gut clenched. Why did this man have to be such a great leader and friend? When Jesse had contacted him before his enlistment in the army ended and offered him this position, he hadn’t hesitated to accept because someone needed to be at Jesse’s back. In the army, Ken had saved his team leader’s life twice. Jesse always argued three, but Ken didn’t count the third as he hadn’t meant to step in front of the bullet meant for Jesse. Thank God for Kevlar. But, the main reason Ken had leaped at the opportunity was because Jesse had offered a perk that allowed him to comfortably leave Georgia, knowing HIS could help him keep track of Sam.

Until now, he’d never thought his decision to join the agency questionable.

With his stomach churning up a thunderstorm, Ken cleared his throat and looked his boss in the eye. “Sir, I’ve got something to say.” “Sir” slipped from his lips as it always did. In part because Jesse had been an officer and because his mother instilled manners in him that stuck.

Jesse’s shoulders visibly tensed, and he placed the folders on his desk. His eyes narrowed, searching, as if he could extract the truth without words. “Go on,” he encouraged.

This time Ken did wipe his hands on his thighs, although it did nothing for the clamminess. Pushing past the lump lodged in his throat, Ken bit the bullet. “I’ve come to resign.” His heart hurt over those words. When he’d said goodbye to the army, he’d been sad, but nothing like the sudden emptiness he felt. HIS had been his new family. The place he felt needed, wanted, and, yes, loved. Emotions roiled up inside him. Loss… sadness… grief. Good God, if he cried, he’d whoop his own ass. This was nothing but smart business.

The silence in the office resonated through to his tortured soul.

“No.” Sitting up straight, Jesse let the simple word stand as if law.

“No?”

“I don’t accept your resignation.”

Flabbergasted at the firm response, Ken tried to figure out what to say. “Sir, I don’t think you understand. I’m leaving.”

“Where are you going?”

Son of a—Jesse was deliberately making this difficult for him, and he didn’t appreciate it one bit. “You know what I mean.”

Leaning forward, his forearms on the desk, hands clasped, Jesse looked intent and authoritative and every inch the intimidating officer Ken had known. “Tell me why. I think after all we’ve been through, you owe me that.”

A sudden flash of the losses they’d sustained over time settled deep in his bones, adding to the ache from his hip. Too many men. He still had a lot to reconcile in his life. A whisper of Sam’s name played havoc with his ability to remain focused, and a hint of weariness flitted through him, making him doubt his choice.

His prepared speech vanished, so Ken just shared what his heart held. “We’ve been through a great deal, and in each instance, I’m glad you were there. But, sir—” Now came the hard part. With a dry mouth, he continued. “I’m stepping aside so you can find someone more competent than me. I’ve failed you too many times. This bullet and the time I’ve been laid up on my ass has helped me realize I’ve lost my edge, and I don’t feel you can depend on me any longer.” Damn, but that had been hard to say. At least he’d told the truth and believed Jesse would understand and let him be on his way. Alone and jobless. But the men and women with the agency would be led safely on their ops.

“Huh” was Jesse’s only response.

Seeing no need to further explain, Ken grasped the armrests and prepared to stand so he could clean out his locker and return his issued gear.

Jesse surprised him with, “When have you failed me and HIS?”

He should’ve resigned with AJ—the baby brother—instead of Jesse. It might’ve been easier.

Ken dropped his hands back to his lap. “Well, there’s this.” He gestured to his hip.

“While I’d rather you hadn’t been shot, you prevented our client from being killed. I don’t see the failure.”

Frustration slipped into his bloodstream at Jesse’s pushing back. “It was my fault she was in that situation.”

“No, it wasn’t. She ignored your directions. That would’ve happened to any of us.” Jesse drew his brows into a V-shape. “What else? It can’t be only this instance. I know you better than that. You’re not a quitter.”

The words slammed into his chest and he wanted to puff up and argue, but he had been a quitter this time. The team deserved better. He’d make Jesse understand. “Let’s start with Madison. I made a stupid move and she almost got shot.”

Jesse steepled his fingers and tapped his two forefingers together. “You did right by attempting to clear the place. Besides, my new sister-in-law appreciates you taking a bullet for her. Excuse me, a bullet graze.” Jesse waved his hand in a gesture that said his statement had been no big deal and he needed to continue bringing it on.

“Well, there’s Caitlyn. I didn’t leave the house protected.”

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